Once upon a time...

Boots For Sale

2009-10-07T17:59:00.003+08:00

SELLING MY BOOTS ANYTHING JUS CONTACT ME TRU MY E-MAIL

Price:$130

Original price:$200

Di Bulan Ramadann...

2009-09-05T16:29:00.003+08:00

haha daaa nk masok 2 minggu puasa baruu nk update..! biasa la...okay.. alhamdullilah so far puasa telah menjalan dgn lancar.. dan begitu jugalah dgn hidupku.. tapi tak sgt la.. laptop rosak. hp rosak.. sooo begitulah ceritanye.. okay .. and alhamdulillah me and my baby have move on to our next level of relationship.. we are embracing the month of ramadan.. and walaupun so far this two weeks dpt jumpa 3-4 times aje.. and kadang2 ade downside dia.. tapi we still stand strong together! our patience has increased greatly even tho we rarely meet and menerima segalaa gala dugaan.. and terutama skali.. im very very very proud of him! sebab! dlm bulan puasa nie sentiasa ade dugaan.. and my baby make it tru whole day in army completing his fast! IM sooo proud of him!! and 1ST TIME DPT SAMBUT RAMADAN DGN ENCIK TAUFIK WALAUPUN 3 TAHUN SEKOLAH BERSAMA :) hehe

I can never stop being thankful to god for having such a wonderful boyfriend in my life who has been watching out for me.. every steps i took..loving and caring for me unconditionally.. dan yang paleng penting- RESPECT, HONESTY & KESETIAANnya..- terhadap ku.. walaupun.. we dun really get what we want like having the chances to meet each other always tapi yg ku tahu..cintanya terhadap ku tak pernah mati dan kesetiannya tak pernah hancur.... I LOVE HIM TO BITS. sayang dia mcm nk apeee tau! takde org akan mengerti!

so what have been doing for this ramadan.. basically home cooked food! masak sane sini untuk berbuka. i simply love the cooking and tasting and savour the aroma of the dishes appreciating simple simple spices to wonderful heavenly dishes! and..! o yea.. tak saba nk buat kek kukus untuk baby and i tell mama alll about this.. bab kek kukus nie mama nye speciality! and yess she going to teachh meee!! hehe tak saba! so baby.. u kene mam kasi abiz k?! kekeke... and also baking kuih makmurrr untuk kasi mama baby i and his family... TAK SABA.. mlm nanti, adalah pertama kali, baby and me going geylang cari bajuu camer2! weeehee!!!

My hands, They tremble cold

2009-08-28T00:45:00.002+08:00

It was the first time, we ever fought so bad over the fon. i was feeling the heat surge in my body. i know its my fault for sparkin him off. tapi. bile ku mrajuk.. ku juga mahu dipujuk mcm baby.. baby.. yg cute sgt2? u know. its my fault too for being so hard on him but.. sigh.. aku nie.. memg la manja sgt2 sometimes over. and jus so sometimes i jus wan my guy too nvr stop trying to pujuk with bunga2 cinta that really makes me melt inside even if how hard i tried to resist.............. tapi setiap org tu ade kesabaran. and so i blew it off.
i was fuming.. and so he is.. and we wereeeeeee like ahh hee ape itu ini.. but honestly inside. i wanna close my eyes and wished that this was juss a nervous nightmare.......... but wen i open my eyes... it wasnt. it's COLD hard truth that we were fightin.

my pms jus adds more disaster to my emotion...it controlled me.... for the first time.. kesabaran ku hilg. i cannot control my anger no matter how deepen many breaths i took. IT jus wouldnt work. i was like the most crankiest and angry woman alive... but deep inside me.. i wan to turn back time an dlisten to his giggles and wished I never took that miserable mistake.

walaupun marah, i still love him fiercely tho. i dun wanna lose what i have now. he's the dream guy i dream of every night and my own fairytal, to be. i love him I LOVE him.......... (: with my heart and love and trust in every way honey (: <3

I HATE PMS >:(

2009-08-27T22:17:00.001+08:00

I RRRRREALY hate pms! suxxxxx! boring bingit mcm nk pekik pun ade. irritating betul. i feel so GEEEEEEEEEEERAM NOW. dunno y.

me against time

2009-08-20T17:47:00.003+08:00

Its been a while since i last blog. and i gotta say its already mid august.. QUITE fast ey? i still havent do my maths homework becoz afternoon are meant for me to sleep.. well that was a badddd exccusee.. i mean i gotta do it now or never and i can kiss my grade GOODBYE. ok thats about maths... well honestly.... i have good the topics in my hand.. JUST not enough practice!

Last 3 days... was sweeet.. my sugarplum has his time off and we had been spending good quality time together! not only it was sweet.. there's a lil bitter and sour adds on to it.. well having a row doesn't mean we hate each other... it jus set our differences and yea.. we learn more abt each other and being patience.! OH YEA.! i jus remembered. we bought a pair of ripcurls slipperssss each and itt loookkk quite similarrr AND CUTE! i lovveee it! and my dearest bought me a dirty off white ripcurl bag to go along withhhh.. I DEFINITELY love it to the coree of Heavennss! andyesterday was our third movie together .. watched G.I JOE, with abg ain and kak fad. pLeasant surprise from someone... (: im vry happy for the someone! I loveee him for being such a respectful gentlleman that loveeeeeeeeeees me for i am and shower with me tons of care and concern! to add on more joyyy in our life! its like 11 days moreee to our 7 mth! sekeeejapp kann... betul2 tk percaya my dream guy is part of my life now. SUch blessing... and talkin abt blessing.. Bulan Ramadhan akan menjelang tak lama lagi..syg and me are looking forward to a blessful month together for the first time..

Having u in my life changes everything.. you gave me the confidence and oxygen to breathe in again and feel alive. and definitely change my view about love... that love is a such a sweet and pleasant journey with full of care, respect, patience and giving. I used to be that dropout-giving up- depressed and lost girl back then.. But My Deearest Taufik, has shown me the light and guidance to hold on my hand and walk with me....
I love you very much with all my heart and miss you very dearly.
You Mean The World To Me

Satu Jam

2009-08-13T02:49:00.002+08:00

You are the greatest guy i ever met.. and i nvr wanna let u go.. sometimes.. words cant express everything for you... and so sometimes i took it in a different way.. actions.. .. and i hope... our love will nvr die.. even if the future is unknown....

pictures speaks a thousand words

2009-08-12T01:02:00.007+08:00

My love for u will never die....
it will nvr... die..

hello world

2009-07-19T01:46:00.000+08:00

its been a million years since i update my bloggie wahahahhaa.. ape nk jadi nie.. OK Btw! i had a good good time today with my syg my bro and his girl. from town, we met them at ecp.. main layang2, makan sampai nk muntah and den a good jolly well of latte.. shiook.. i swear my legs are aching like hell..
im very very happy today really happy and enjoyyed the heeeck out of myself.. But a big bowl of exhaustion is running tru my blood vein now...

As usual, sayang pick me up from home and to town.. jln2 jln2. pastu jumpa diorg pat ecp.. the weather was SWEET and yeah enjoyed the scenery there. for the first time, i get to view the Apache Helicopter carrying Singapore Flag sooo nearrrr above us.. The apache really looks like one from the Resident evil. lol. we, people really bobal byk, dari helicopter ke tembak (sayang ckp recoil tembak mcm kene sepak dgn 10 tangann wahHAHAH.. kekek of the day) , ke heights ke laut ke swiming la trap water la. mcm2 hahaha but klaka gile.. nasib sayang sampai skrg tak tau apeeee itu KE.. somethin2. LAIN KALI JANGANG EH.. winks2.
Pat hawker centre makan mcm nk pengsan. ikan pari sambal, kailan, telur.. AIR KELAPA.. sugarcane.. kerang.. and gua nya most favvv chicken wings bakarr FUUHHH jgn tak jadi beb.. finally tercapai niat ku!

K da penat gile nk mams nie skrg..........nk bobok dulu la!

and to syg.. i know i can trust u in every aspect dear.. Tkmo break my trust k darls. LOVE U LOTS

sleepless nights...

2009-07-03T03:42:00.002+08:00

walaupun aku cuba.. dan mencuba.. aku tak dpt lelapkan mataku.. rindu ku untuk si dia.. semakin kuat.. namun.. aku harus bertahan.. sungguh aku sedih... maafkan aku syg kerana aku melukakan hatimu.. namun janganlah kamu berdiam diri.. janganlah lah kamu biarkan aku sendiri.. tak sanggup aku menjalani perjalanan hidupku seorang diri...
i jus wanna take back my words. berilah i peluang ini. sekali lagi....
rasa sedih dan hampa membalut hatiku ini........
sayang..maafkan aku......
aku sanggup membuat apa2 sahaja demi dirimu.
berikan lah aku ruang maaf dalam hatimu..
ku tidak sanggup lagi...maafkan aku kasih..
aku tidak mahu melihatmu terluka...
maafkan aku.......

My family; My future

2009-07-01T00:13:00.009+08:00

Muka adek bradek kite LAIN KAN...

Birthday abg ain was a blast.. gerek.. dpt sabo si mangkok tu finally huhahahahaa okay alhamdullilah everything berjalan dgn lancar and it was fun (: Abg hyriel's finally turning 24.. on 28/6 heh daaaa besar abf aku.. tinggal tunggu nk tunang aje..

Sayang was there as well.. malu2 la dia... hahaha biasa la.. if it was me in his shoes.. double the malu!

sekejap masa berlalu da 5 bulan... im happy tat he gets to meet my whole family... restu paling important.. so far mama and papa pun happy (: MEE PUN HAAAAPYYY giler nk mams! he's happy i am hppy and IM SOO LUCKIE to have such a blessing guy in my life..

whats' important and insya'allah kami smua akan menjadi satu familiaaa yangg happy and peaceful in the future..insya'allah k syg.... i dun wan to expect a second heartbreaking event to happen to me.... :(

so lepas clebrate pat uma.. abg ain ajak minum coffee bean same2..brader gua belanjaa.. wahuuuu... asik peet pott je syg and abg ain...kak fad and me plak tak abiz2 tgk kan diorg dua.. KENYANG BEBBB...

Tiada Kata

2009-06-27T10:22:00.001+08:00

im feeling utterly sad for the situation of my family.. everything is likee crushing infront of me.. aku sedih tgk abg aku..and he's feeling so down even tho his burthday is just round the corner.. i can't sleep well, its fucking affecting my life. i feel so fucking pissed!
i cnnot believe my 2nd bro tellin me not to belive my other bro. what the fuck?! FUCK LA SIAL. ape salah abg aku nie? ah?! i follow my own fucken instinct la. walaupun ape2 salah any of my bros did or what he did. AKU AKAN maafkan dia kerana dia darah daging aku jugak. and kalau nabi bole maafkan umat nye kenapa tak le mereka?!
n si dektu gi keje plak for birthday abg aku. wtf!? ehhhh ini adek bradek
asl keluarga aku bole pecah belah nie?! irritating sial! mak bpk aku pun bingit jugak!
dala bingit gileeeeeer la sial! BENCI SIAL.

stop pointing at others!

Pink and White

2009-06-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

oh mann.. my body aches so badly.. yesterday went jogging with abg mangs.. i swore it wass tiring butt the aftermath of joggin makes my body as light as a feather hahaha! I llooove the weather yesterdaee..cooling andd... sooo sooo everr cooling.. no wonder syg tido at 8pm till like tmr!? hehehehhe

the moment i woke up today, i received a beautiful romantic msg from my dear which makes me smile from ear to ear...
so today i jusss did a bit of FTT work.. and clean up.. and wnt shoppin with mama at JP BUYING tons and tons of fruits and stuffs that compiles up to be a surprise for my dearest..
O yea it was suchhh a hard time finding plums. - well i wanna make plum clafoouly for my bro's birthday... hahaha lett himm eat some healthy desert... hehehehe cant wait for sunday to fly to me!!!

Today syg ade icct.. bole syg ajar i what moves to kick someone's butt kan dear hahaha.. entah2 i ended up being kicked ade lah.. i can't wait for tmr.. nk buat cottagee pieee yahuuu beyahuuu...and pergi ruma sedaraa akuu paat JE yang da lama tak ku temu.. untuk study and also aerobix! hahahaha (:

Baby, i love u sooo soo ever much.. ever since u step into my life, i hav forgotten all my bad sad memos... i love u alot honey.. i DOO...

Penantian

2009-06-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

today. well. it was different for me. i clean. studied. and gamed. and yea. i did calculate the amount of dust in differnt rooms. k.. so..
i dunno why it was quite silent today.. but... glad tho i get to talk to him before he crept to lala land. it felt differnt tho, i dunno why.

ok.. i definitely miss him so much.. sigh. goodnite everyone..

Endure

2009-06-21T02:27:00.000+08:00

I know my sayang probably sleeping by now.. i miss him so.. i miss him so.. so what did i do the whole damn day? watched hindustan.. and alsoo makan nasi lemak tat dad bought for me.. in the start of evening, my parents and i went to east coast .. ape lagii makan bbq ayam myy faaaaaaaaverete! HAHAHAH makan ayam and satay je.. NO CCARBOHH k? i wanna diet..

So i played runescape too.. kasi level naik and also kill time .. i miss my hunneh seh.. gonna wait for his msg until sunday malam which is like tonight.. lama nye.. soon enough im gonna tagged alot with my family to JB (pasar lakin) to make my bro's baju kurung.. and also MAKAN THE ORIGINAL keropok lekor..
well recently i did the newspaper.. ade ke.. tips to avoid being hated in facebook?! whoo careess la sehh. i nk jiwang ke.. nk maki ke.. nk step jadi celebrity kee.. its my OWN FB. lol. for now addicted dgn lagu kantoi and jangan pernah berubah! i love it becoz teringat my syg nyanyi hheheee.. (:

Sayang.. i harap u doing alrite pat tekong doing urban orps/orbs.. i miss u seh baby.. mlm nie baru dpt call u..... sigh lagi lama seh.. i cannottt live like this huney! but i endure.. mungkin this is where cinta kite diuji kan syg? I LOVEE U.. pls come back soon.. i hope u dpt one day off.. tak lee tidoo sehh mlm ni.. :(((((((((((((((

Sleepless Nights

2009-06-20T01:02:00.000+08:00

14 hari ku mencari dirimu..
untuk menanyakan di mana dirimu..

Okay so..hari nie sedih.. sebab syg tak dpt book out..dia kene replace org pat tekong. ok u know wat I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING THAT IRRITATING PERSON WHO ASK SYG TO SURRENDER HIS PHONE. BOLE?!.. sigh he will be back on monday i hope he get a day off or so.. really miss him so much... i couldn't stop crying when we talked on d fon just now. i really miss him =( =(

tuition is good. the tutor gerek.. i finally understand indices setalah 6 tahun kemudian.. aku tau ape korg nk ckp? RABAK KAPE ZACK! kan.. kan..ade hw.. tapi lom buat.. PSLmy brain juice is all used up.
maybe tmr ikot mama papa and abg gi johor buat baju raye...da bertaun tak gi johor.. ok not really la. BUT ITS REALLY LONG LA.

Malam Ini, Aku Rapuh

2009-06-19T00:55:00.000+08:00

Sesungguhnya ku terasa amat sedih pada malam ini kerna, melukakannya..maaf kan aku sayang
kerana aku aku telah melukakan hati mu.. sesngguhnya aku ingin teramat sangat bertemu denganmu..... berada di dlm pelukkan mu.. dan merasakan saat saat manis cinta kita..
maafkan aku sayang kerana aku melukakan mu... maafkan aku..

taufik.. im really sorie for hurting u tonight..im really sorie.. i wanna meet u so bad.... i really wanna meet u so bad,.. so bad.... i am sorie that army is tough for u and yet i add on to ur burden.. but i promise i will try to make ur day everyday i am sorie i didn't make it tru today. i am sorrie..

I love you.. i am sorie.. i miss u so much.. tiada laki lain yg dpt dibandingi dengan dirimu...
hanya diri kamu seorang yang aku mahu...
tiada yang lain

to my dearest

2009-06-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

bi walaupun malam nie.. we talk and laugh alot.. but i jus wanna sya right from the bottom of my heart that u meanalot to mee.. and i love u so much.. syg tiada laki lain yg dpt mencuri hati i lagi selain daripada u taufik. im serious and honest abt my love to u and this relationship.

i do love u and miss u alot. i hope to see u tmr dear .. i swear upon my life.. that i love u so much that i love u more than myself

configure

2009-06-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

HEHEHEH same tak? dia suka nyanyi and my only one sharpshooter! i love him!

Resah!

2009-06-05T23:20:00.001+08:00

mana seh syg aku nie.. i called him since morning tak dpt.. i really miss him like nuts.. i wondr what is he doing and ape training.. RINDU risau! RESAH! manaaa nie diaaaa... mana ade training mcm nk gini.. kalau dia pat hutan mesti dia bilg siang22222 nye.. TAUFIIIKKK WHERE ARE UUU.. I MISSS U

tired

2009-06-05T13:28:00.001+08:00

PENAT

unspoken words

2009-06-03T01:09:00.000+08:00

I MISS MY ABG BOI.... ITS UNDENIABLY strong.....

Singing Sensation

2009-05-31T13:13:00.000+08:00

Nie la princess aku yg tido sepanjang hariiiii... hehehehehe

Yesterday was a blast... and tiring definitely for us.. ape ke tak.. karaoke 4 jam? from 4pm till 8pm. YEP. suara hilg.. hahahahhaa and the most irritating part for me.. before going out with sayang.. I went to BBDC for my Final Theory Test. guess wat? FAILED.. for the pathetic second time. Really didn't know why and how. but nvm. my next test will be on next next Monday... wish me luck! so we sing mcm2.. ade high ade low.. ade mix.. ade dangdut.. ade english.. ade indo.. ade malay.. smua ade. HHAHAHA oFFICially celebrating our 4th month anni today.. diam tak diam da 4 bulan... cepat masa berlalu pergi.. heheheheheh

HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNI DEAR.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!

with love & Kisses

Estrella..

Apa Artinya Cinta Tanpa Mu...

2009-05-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

"Cinta.. sesuatu yg tidak boleh dipaksa.. hanya waktu sahaja dpt menentukan ia..

Sesuatu yang tidak dpt diduga.. Sesuatu yang akan datang dengan sendirinya....

Setiap pagi, pabila ku mula membuka mata, tidak ku sangka jejaka

yang selama ini ku menunggu

sudah menjadi kekasih hatiku..

Aku benar benar Bersyukur mempnyai

seseorang kekasih yang penyabar, penyayang, romantis, pengasih, jujur

dan yang penting sekali, dia memahami naluriku ini

sebagai seorang wanita dengan penuh hormat dan kasih..

Tidak akan ku mensia-siakan cinta kita.

Tidakkah kau tahu, setiap kali kau berada jauh dari sisi ku,

terasa rindu yang teramat dalam...

Setiap kali menatap wajahmu,

ku tidak dapat berkata-kata..kerana... aku sungguh tak percaya bahwa

kau adalah milikku dan.. sungguh aku benar mencintaimu.

Dan Setiap kali ku renung matamu, Terasa diri ini Hilang... dalam Alam Cinta

Tidak akan ku meninggalkan dirimu

Cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku..

Siang, Malam hanya untuk fikirkan engkau...

Sejuta kali pun aku berani bersumpah, diriku tanpa mu

Apa Artinya Cinta..."

- Zakiah.. Namamu telah terpahat di hatiku ini.. tiada lain yg dpt mengisi kekosongan hati ku.. biarpun ombak yang merubah pantai, namun, kasihku padamu, takkan hancur berderai.. biarpun hari berganti hari, dirimu tetap ku nanti.. zakiah, keikhlasan hatiku kemcintaimu hanya tuhan yang tahu.. dan bi sering berdoa untuk cinta kita berpanjangan.. bi tak dpt hidup tanpamu.. Sayang, Jangan tinggalkan bi.. -

~ Muhammad Taufik~

Picture speaks a Thousand words

2009-05-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

Just to get a stuff for him.. i would care so much about how it smell

to get the best right one for him.... what more can i say about the person himself.. there's no word to describe how much i love and care for him.

Im sorry...

2009-05-20T19:32:00.001+08:00

I miss Ur smile k?

Now, betul2 sedih gado ngn Taufik.. since yesterday.. nie seme psl me keep on sayin about bike jealousy. i am sooo upset that i am starting to hate that topic because it caused us to argue. anyway. I gave up studying today I had ZERO mood. but i won't give up to ask him for forgiveness.

In a mean time, i am so dying to upload our this pics that we went out on monday together.. finally bole! I tried to work out my bluetooth pepipheral device for about 35 hrs? not to forget I can't find my usb mobile cable WHICH cause me to have sore eyes, thanks to abuk2 tahun bila ntah. Bingits .

Btw. smalam memg haf fun dgn kazen2. tapi di sebalik fikiranku, terfikir tentang dia.. i know he's mad. im trying my best to calm him down.. i hope he will.. Im very sorry. .. i am sorry dear.. .
Tag of the day : 17 bottles of parfume for the best one. (:

WE

2009-05-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

Your Laughter Is music to My Ears.....d(^^)b

sOMetimes... the most amazing thing that has ever happen to our life.. is the most unexpected thing ever.. I am so grateful that you're a part of me and my daily life. semoga... kita berpanjangan....amin..

Hari nie.. hujan.. sebab! pertama kali gi shisha ngn syg.. klaka betul.. it was a very very very very fun best Private day for us. where kite je customer dia.. fun la.. bobal2 ngn syg psl dari zaman sec.. sampai la kite tersangkot sekarang nie.. one thing abt syg.. sygg sungguhhh degil! degill.. oh yaa.. time nk gi posb. ade satu budak nie kesian.. dia ingat syg nk remp dia ngn moto.. naik tangga sampai nk terjatuhhh..~~ hehehee..

i really miss my syg alot. even tho kita tak dpt bobal same2.. so many things happen.. i manage to confess to syg howww mucch i love him! and i never wanna him change not even a bit. dun even wanna leave him for asec!

syg syg.. 1st time tgk dia jadi keraazeyy kejap time nk balek.. hahahahhaha! main challen siapa campak paleng jauh. nyanyi lagu kambing hitam samer2.. mcm2 la.. and DGR DIA KETAWA KUAT2! tu yg palng best.. but the best will be.. HIM. i love him alot.. i know he is reading this right now.. senyumlah selalu syg kerna.. senyumanmu membuat ku terpaku...

You are the best thing that has ever happen to my life.. i don't wanna lose u. never will i leave u for someone else.. becoz.. i always belong to u. jgn degil. DEAL IS UP. THIS MONTH MY MONTH. KALAU U SYG I, UDGR CKP I. INSYA'ALLAH MAKNENYE YES! DEGIL!!!!!!!!! <3

My sleeping Knight...

2009-05-13T09:41:00.000+08:00

That is how cute Abg boi looks when he sleeps.. hehehe.. last sunday we were just chilling by the park with the wonderous wind.. and he was soo tired that he fall alseep..in my arms.. and he looks sooo uber peaceful.. cute.. immaculate.. sweet.. BUT! I AM so amazed by his sleeping skills that he can sleep for so long even the position isnt that comfortable! I AM SERIOUSLY AMAZED! best kan kalau i can do like him.. i definitely can do some sleeping at work now.. But how i wish masa bole berputar sekali lagi. i wanna meet him all over again... i wanna go dates with him all over again.. i wanna laugh with him all over again.. trip infront of him all over again..listen to his jokes all over again.. just with him all over again.. sit beside him all over again.. let him sleep all over again.. i jus miss him. miss him. diam tak diam.. kami pun daaa nk masok yg keeeeee 4 bulan.. im happy =) very happy..IM JUS HAPPY AND EUPHORIC!

and i wanna go to clementi tunnel with u... feel the thrilling rumbling engine of ur RXZ..

i love ur scribble note. i love it.

oh BTW. YESTERDAY. ade pompan melayu interview.. gosh nk step english slangko. Meeyiampah i! hahahaha.. ok.. is that how my dearest feel on the 1st 1st 1st day we date.. and i spoke english all the way.. ?~~ mesti klaka!!!!! hahahaha i jus am smilling now... becoz the 1st date he told me.. that i have a business minded mind... THAT IS SO CUTE OF Him.......

Forever..

2009-05-12T10:05:00.000+08:00

Dearest Taufik

Even if the steps are steep to walk on,

we try together, hand in hand..

There's so many obstacles for us to face

but we keep going on feeling strong.

Yang penting..

cinta kita terbukti

Yang penting..

kita tidak mengaku kalah...

dan walaupun airmata jatuh tiada berhenti

yang penting kamu mencintaiku setulus hati

dan sanggup berjalan bersama..

untuk selamanya..

Dear blog, yesterday was..hectic for me. in work in my mind.. emotionally and everything.. i hope sayang doing well today. and that he will recover fast from flu.. i was so.... emotinally drained.. i slept at 8:47pm.. till the next day.. I had a blessfull dream.. and the next dream IS even wonders.. NAIK MOTO HAHAHA.. so today isnt a bad day..i am jus... i dunno. i dunno whats going on in my head currently.. still empty.. i just. miss him (: O yea.. on the way back hm yesterday.. i heard tiny tiny meowss comin from somewhere near my void deck. i wanted to check it out but im truly tired.. mesti ade babyy kittenn ): i wish i can help it.

One more time..

2009-05-11T11:14:00.000+08:00

Anger; Dismay

2009-05-08T10:35:00.000+08:00

Much to my dismay and furstration, problems jus pooled over my life when i begin to expect something sweet. why!? WHY is this personn trying so hard. ITS IRRITATING. its really irritating. Wish i could just tell that person to stop. JUST stop. ITS getting on my nerve again. Ive got my own life to serve. N i don't need others to probe into my life and telling me whats happening around me. BECOZ i may seem quiet, BUT I KNOW alright?! doesn't mean SILENCE MEANS DUMB. Its seriously annoying.!!!!!!!!!~ I HATE.

and also I WISH BOSS WOULD TERMINATE ME NOW. because i jus can't stand these people.

Been reading up maths. some's i seem to remember. got 19 chaps left. i need to get to kak wee for papers most by next week fri. AND RIGHT NOW. I CAN'T controll the way i eat. I JUS KEEP On eating and eating. and the desire to eat that and this and this and that. probably so this is due to the hormonal changes~!? i tried out 6 diffirenttt effin jeans jus to get my right size. I ALWAYS has problems with jeans .! i feel so fat and useless!! GOSH. NOW i really feel like eating..... blackpepper lambchop. with fries. kalau tak mutton chop pat adams' road. with theeee mayoo on top

Repetition; Education

2009-05-07T15:43:00.000+08:00

Mood: Lekor pls.

So uhh. i guess its been decades since i last update you. Kinda busy with work and further more, ive been getting my O level registration done once again. Thank god ade Abg Boi, boleh jugak dia temankan kite. So many things Happened between me and abg Boi, I jus can't wait for saturday. Simply i forgot to call dad today to inform about my morning breakfast plan for My dearest Mummie Sinceee SUNDAY is MAMA'S DAY. hahahaha. well tmr then. Yesterday, Abg Boi accompany me to popular J.e to get stationeries and office supplies. It was a heavy load! andddd PFFT. i get the wrong size for the file. irritating Giler SO i need to exchange. Gosh to add on my frustration! ITS HEAVY like im carrying 5 snowies at one g0. I KNOW I KNOW no picture.. veryy Bawwring.. and Blant-ted~ by this weekend ok? NO WORDS. just pics. And syg's so punkrockkk riding the opposite direction of road due one tiny wrong turn.

Today My dad is as always as punkrock as ever.. red light smua bedal.... heh heh. MY TIGHS ARE ACHING AND FATTENINg. i can't even fit in into my newly bought jeans. SEDIH SEH. am i fat?! exchanging them todayyyyyy AND I MAKE SURE i'll try. i dun wanna be seen wearing this pants (now) anymore. Yana say My arse look pretty big.. the funny part today.... called yana and screaming at her through my mouthpiece.. jus to guide her to SEAB. and she too screameddd alott .. IMAGINE. earpieces and screaming. people were definitely thinkinnn we are Nutheads!

now jus tak saba. nk klua dari office. and guess wat. Written and sent my resignation letter To my Boss. im looking forwar dto next thurday till im a free bird.... aBg dannIE and Hazim going to accompany me for jeans exchanging and den meeting syg for late dinner. IM HUNGRY K? really hungry and tired to the core of the earth!.!.!.!

Thank you dear for everything.. everything that you have did and done for me <3

.

2009-05-06T10:39:00.000+08:00

days seems greyer..
life seems to be shattering..
how i wish you were here..
holding me tight, so comforting..
don't speak a word..
just hug me close...
and let my head rest..
just let the time by...

ngnTok Gils Tapi Best

2009-05-04T09:30:00.000+08:00

k boring sebab gaji. baru 800+. bingit gils. cpf kene ketok. bingit boring gils. tak cukup seh gini if forever like this.. da la nk kene baya bill.. nk kene beli buku skula.. nk kene.. pay for transport fees..... tats y i need to study and get a better job and better supplement of income.. right now im so uptight and sleepy. not to forget uptight again.... some pple are just so "well-mannered".

anyway great news is.. TAUFIK is finally back.. well is supposed to be yesterrday, as thought by the "clever-mcm paham college-girl me" padayhal, he was back on fri-sat 1:06am as he touch down. SHOCK yet happy YET sleepy Yet shock yet scared N nervous! - I was awoken by my alarming hp which i thought was alarm.. SKALI dia call. but thanks to my brain who couldn't registered anything yet, i rejected it and went back to sleep.. a cup of seconds later, i was totally dumbstrucked and rushed to call him... I was SOOO afraid that he's gonna sound so pissed at me.. but it was otherwise.... siiooo happy!

Upon meeting him, NERVOUS like hell.. i jusss wanna scream out loudy oout. but alhamdullilah everythings ok. he's fine no.. HE'S GREAT. and im so relieved of all relieved. He bought me lots of gift whichs makess meee feel soo guiltyyy......... i loveee themm all.. the punkrockie leather band, teeshirt.. baby minnieee mouseee and parrfume..thank u k syg? I REALLY APPRECIATE them all... <3<3<3

BTW. smalam klua ngn abg boi gi vivo... yg best nye.. dpt start motornye.. yg klaka nye i jadi rider.. syg jadi pillion.. da terbalek tuuu!... tak le angss.!...ketawa terkekek2 !.. tapi tak jln ah stakat duduk jee.... HANG GILOOO??. kalau jln nanti buat whelllyy nanti abg boi jugak yg panik.! ceyyy i feel sooooo mcmmm best gitu naik moto.... tapi sewamm ahh.. will update our pics later.... =D

Tk saba nk jumpa dia nanti gi mamam.. pastu buat puzzle same2.. soooo sweett....<3

pls

2009-05-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

i hope.. he's safe.. i jus wanna tell him how much i miss him and earnnnn for him.. imisshim.. ilove him...

a new refreshing ...

2009-04-30T22:55:00.000+08:00

i jus wanna change everything about my bloggg to a gooooddddddddddd good look...

YAY YAY SYG BALEK ON 3RD MAY YAHOOO BAYAHOOO

nothing but us

2009-04-30T11:06:00.000+08:00

Im sad.. really sad.. why shld have he brought up the past that has nothing to do with us.. i thought we accepted each other for who we are now and not the past.... I know u are upset and hurt but so am i.. try to put urself in my shoes.. i have reasons.. and i already explained it to u.. and if i were to brought up such topics about ur ex?.. would u feel wholely accepted by me..?

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku
banyak kata yang tak mampu kuungkapkan kepada dirimu
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku sepanjang hidupku
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
kuslalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu sepanjang hidupku
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu memanggil
seluruh ragakuku
ingin kau tau
ku slalu milikmu yang mencintaimu

My upset life.

2009-04-29T15:58:00.002+08:00

I dun even know how it start nor how its begins. Its really depressing for me. At which point could he could be angry with me? or at which part did i gone wrong? I have never done or did anythin to cheat him. I swear i didn't. My initial decision to tell him because i wanted to retake my maths o level and den start TP life. because last sunday, after ugama my 1st brother came over and he gave me drilling. not to forget like my father telling me how bullshit I am working in this place with just O levels and my promises to him for further studies. I was so upset that night i cried. I know i cannot be forever working i need to study.. but i didn't have the right time to tell taufik. My mom is supportive. I even ask her if I ever get engaged in my poly life will it be ok..and yet she is very supportive since she like taufik very much. And to add on psl si pakcik2 gatal kat keje. I cannot live with it climbing up stairs all the way to level 6 to avoid them every morning and in between afternoon to anta surat.

ABgboi? well lets start unraveling stufs.. ABG BOI IS TAUFIK for goodness sake. ITS BEEN him all along.. if u all realise i dun call him mr tee anymore. why abg boi? thanks to deejay pat taufik's sister marriage who address him as Abg boi. so I like it that way. Pls dun get me wrong dear. its been u all along.. and i cannot do this by myself. I need u(my syg) to help me as well in order for us to be happy one more time..

And yes the pictures. is my patriotic cousins.. I have nvr go against u........ and i have never cheated on u.... pls. i need u to tell me ur needs wants.. likes.. and hates.. and dislike.. and u need to know mine.. in order for us to understand each other better.........

I have nvr change during these days that u were not here with me.. and yet i know u are always close to me by heart.. I have nvr change. i swear and i admit its my fault that i didn't explain everything clearly and give u the wrong infomation

Tiba-tiba engkau ada
Kemudian engkau hadir
Laksana kerdil ku memeluk
Lihat aku lebih dalam
Di matamu ku melihat
Ada cinta yang tersirat
Sirami hati merebak
Barangkali aku salah
Ku terdiam bukan bisu
Tahu engkau besar malu
Tutupi rasa gelisah
Biar saja waktu nanti
Yang menikmati kisah ini
Bersamamu aku senang
Belum juga kah kau menyadarinya
Akulah yang pantas untuk kau cintai
Di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
Arti cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku
Siang malam hanya untuk pikirkan engkau
Sejuta kali aku berani bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
Biar saja waktu nanti
Yang menikmati kisah ini
Bersamamu aku senang
Belum juga kah kau menyadarinya
Akulah yang pantas untuk kau cintai
Di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta

Effin pissed

2009-04-26T23:15:00.002+08:00

i guess u shld know who u are im pissin off with. stop meddling with my LIFE. jus pikirkan psl kau nye hidup. tak ya nk bising2 kat aku. I choose to listen to who i want which is - my 1st brother

My bestfriend and me (:

2009-04-24T21:17:00.002+08:00

Boi haven't reply my msg yet.. He must be bz.. However, Im still waiting for his msg. That time, when we checked out the vans shoes, Im planning to get him one HI cut for him.. HAHAHAHA vans esp hi-cut just looks sooo cool on the Male species. IF i were a guy I aleady have a collection back hm. Sayang nye.. Pompan tak byk hi-cut.. slip ons je.. prolly anyone going to u.s or australia.. tell me.. I WANNA get Oneee simply extaordinary awsomemess Hi cut. I really misss Boi to the max.... Kalau dia tgh baca mesti dia senyummm lebarr se lebar.. paya lebarr knnn abg boi kiteee???????? ABg boi abg boi.. (:

So today at work larf my ass off alot.. so many funneh stuffs happen! Yesterday I watch K9 cops. Awsome maximum........... WHile simply waiting for my diy hair dye to dry... I decided to snap a pic of me and snowey. 1 pic each yr! =D NK TGK????

Yr 2007

Yr 2008

YR 2009

To: Muhammad Taufik

Syg come back home soon.. I love u syg.. (:

The unseperable Us

2009-04-22T11:28:00.002+08:00

Purrfect Jealousy

2009-04-21T09:08:00.000+08:00

I was awoken by a loud noise that has never happen in my hse before. That sounded like cat fight which was followed by my parents and brother shouting at the hall area. Well what exactly happen was that a stray cat not more than 1 year and a half old was going to enter our home. and My snowey, protective guards

the house by making feriously loud scary noises; it sounded like cats scratching each other.

But thankfully my gate has a barrier mesh wire. My dad said only snowey was making that feriously noise and the other stray cat was jus so as quiet and tried to enter the home. In the end my dad shooed the stray cat away. I never know such a placid, gentle, baby, snowey who has never purposely scratch or bit me before can make scary scary SCARY noises. Carried her to my room.. and hush her to calm down..
Well, At least I know My princess can't tolerate other cats in the home and love to be the only one. Suchhh a Puuurrrfect Jealousy. ..

I was so right about fever, Yesterday my fever was killing me at work.. and when i reached home, i did the neccessary stuffs and took medicine and sleep by 7:30PM! howww effin early was that?! i woke up about 12am, eat zinger which abg ain brought back and took med again and falll asleep..... My fever subside and goes up again.. im tired..

I AM SO UPSET.....I MISS HIM SO BADLY. YET TO RECEIVE any msg from HIM. I wonder how is he doing now..Sigh~~~.. To add one, I lost my MP3. now I can't listen to his velvet voice singing anymore. everything just sucks.. SUCKS!

Unhealthy

2009-04-19T23:57:00.000+08:00

im having a bad flu today... still no news abt him.. I miss him like crazy.. i can sense fever is coming to me.. I hope he's ok......I love u taufik..i love u

SIgh

2009-04-18T12:39:00.000+08:00

I miss him.. .. really badly.

): ): ): ):

Massive

2009-04-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was fun - just d girls nite out. with me and my cousins on my dad's side. The last time we had such outing was like last 2 freaking yrs?! when i was still workin at anderson's ice cream! HEA and hell i look bullshit in the bright highlight yellow speckies. ok so yesterday we ate at zam zam's gosh and we didn;t even get to finish the whole pile of mee goreng because the portion is simply too much... next went to Sultan's Mosque to get our prayers done. Anddd sheesha-ing..tried flavour peach mint and cherry mint. Klaka gilerr la sehh.. i will upload the pictures once i got it from my cuzzies. Through out the night we did update each other's about relationships.. more of the catching up.. and roaring of laughters. It was fun-gerek-NO words can explain how kecohhh we were..

Quote of the Day. "u know wat i liked about myself?

YG penting aku rapat ngn sedara bapak aku HAHAHAHA!"

I still didn't receive any text from him yet.. i miss him alot.. i need himm.. and my dreams are becoming nightmares.. and last night was frustrating.. because i was that close to be with him at a close distance.. but i was abruptly woken up by my dad to did my morning prayers. It was frustrating. Frustrating because i nvr get a chance not even in my dreams...

And i know.. my love for him will always grow ferociously

My only hope, is for him to be safe and healthy...

don't forget me, dear

Animal Liberation.

2009-04-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

I have just finish doing my hair avocado and banana treatment.. It obviously improves only my right side of hair.. my leftt part... jusss improve my a tiny bit.. Serves me to the righteous cause I bleach my poor left side twiceee! HOWEVER, MY HAIR IS ULTIMATELY SOFT AND SMOOTH! BETTER THAN HAIR TREATMENTS! Abg Dani surprise me by reaching at my lobby area when I finished work.. well he had some good and bad story to tell me. SIGH. but! AT LEAST he saves me from the pakciks.. TAU PUN, Tak nyanyi! benci siak .pastu kita balek .I really can't wait for my guy to come back and kickk their arses!
I am really sad because of two major reason. I miss my boyfriend.. i really miss him like deadly.. its soo lonely without him.. and every day of my life.. his velvet voice recording and pictures has been my medications to help me along...pls come back home syg... soon.. safe.. and sound.. i miss u baby..

Alright.. another major reason is.. INhuman heartLESS souls doing drug trafficking using animals; STORING the heroin bags in puppies ABDOMEN. I've just been horrificly educated through animal planet showing such disgusting activities! WHAT THE HELL WERE this stupid traffickers thinking?! it really teared me... I really love animals no matter what kind. they deserve to live because they share a part in this world. God created them for a reason. at least one thing i know HUMAN ARE WAY WAY heartless and brainless than the animals. Poor pups.. poor animals.. I really hope the DEA agents would kill every trafficker.. and pls guys.. dun ever mistreat or abuse any animals..; animals can feel the pain.. to make it even worst, they couldn't express it in a way we would understand. i Wish and wish I really know a way to stop this. But monetary is an issue and I don't even know where to start... For the animals lovers out there n pet owners.. Im sure you will feel what i feel.....

a picture of an Columbian Police Officer

Carrying a Rottweiler Puppy which amazingly survived

after vets saving it, removing heron bags from it's belly..

Flare up.

2009-04-15T13:28:00.000+08:00

I have been sleeping quite early these days.. around 9:30? and before i go to sleep I will listen to his velvet voice singin, thanks to the invention of recording. Its like a mantra for me. I miss him deadly. N only his presence can bring some peace and calm through my soul.

I typed as every burst of anger flowed through my veins. I can practically feel the heat of anger emitting from my cells. Definitely i have a good reason why to be angry. First, it was someone big at my job.... and I have yet to step into the office. Second.......... someone's handwritting was barely mistaken for u when its a n, and i need to re-do for Three Times! and lastly was my trip to this particular shop at raffles.. I was politely asking about any further rebates.. and she simply tell me "You should have read the card properly blablabla..". whatt FucKenn customer service is that.?! and nk step jambu plak tu dgn aku.. Peeeleezee .. the 1st impression i got from her was a transgender. Thank God i am fasting..... If i have m16, she will be the 1st to get a head shot. hahaaaa..God is just testing me.... well at least i get to throw everything here..
Thanks to my colleage.. she went to the specific shop and wanted tat sales assistance to taste her own medicine.. but unfortunately tat lady jus stood behind the counter... and Yes! even my colleague commented she looks like a transgender! HAHA
Furthermore dgn si pakcik security tu senyum pat aku plak.. da la a cheeky one.. mcm aku nk ddddddes* je. i simply gave back the piss off smile. WHATEVER. irritating sia. this place is full of shit!
I just can't wait for my guy to pick me up from the lobby give me a good kiss on my forehead sooo everyone will see who's my hero.

And i am thankfully appreciative that my colleagues, Nurul, Yana & Danny Bod. listen to my every spatful of anger... It make my day more when Danny (Abg dani) practically pretend we are in some big company and talking bullshit.. N o yea even i decided to prank my momm but failed really badly.. she even comfort me.. aww Love u Mama!

Infinity..

2009-04-13T16:21:00.002+08:00

I miss him with Unspoken words
that breathed out from my lungs..
I yearn for him through every
sound of my beating heart...
I love him that adds up
to countless time of every
second of my life...

Today, I woke up; dazed and sleepy.. i had to go work for sure.. Start my fasting period already till the month ends. Met kak huda a lil bit late due to her injured foot. And off for work.. The most amazing thing i ever done in the morning is to climb up flight of stairs till level 6. My intention is to escape the guard. O well its worth the tired and to lose ounce of fats HAHA!..
I brought Twillight "Eclipse" to work today.. I read half of the book.. I was so romantically Induldge! Did communicate with nurul via SMS.. well.. i just hope that bubbly fren of her won't chatterrr so much..
I am so exhausted to my bones. that I Really wanna fall asleep... before going back home. I definitely need to drop by the Ticketing Office and Get my Seasonal pass done with.

Before He Left..

2009-04-11T14:00:00.000+08:00

Dear bloggie, I decided to update since miss Sunshine wanna know wat happenn hahahahahhahahaha... See u at the lift at 715am!
Definitely I enjoy my time with him before he fly off to Taiwan for His NS stuff. What happen on tuesday after work? it was super headache for Nurul and Me when we head back to Chi. G after work. Her fren.. a blubbly one.. can realy talk.. Till. me and my cousin didn't even have a chance to a converse a sentence.. Our head Hurts like hell.. I really pity my cousin alot.. and we complained through out the journey on the way back home..
Listened to her ever sad and torturing moment at work..
I simply give her a few bit of advice.. and right on time Taufik reached nearby. Waved goodbye and rode home. He simply love the DIY alott. and Im glad he did! I still feel remorseful for the ring.

The next day met him pretty early.. and offf we went out together.. It was an extra special day for us since it was our firrst time wearing the similar colour together EHE. at fareast, saw KakRina & Abg Faizal. It was such a coincidence before an hour ago Taufik talk to me about how much he misses his sis.. and den. Pooff!

We went singing for the 1st 3 hours.. Thanks to mr Shah. for letting me use his member's card. I can say it wass suchhh as embarrasing moment for me as i almost trip and fell; thanks to the microfone wire.. HAHAHAHAHHA. Syg step cool nk tahan ketawa.. padahal.padahal.. we sang our hearts out. and it was my very 1st ever time I went karaoke with my bf/guy. Next stop, to robinsons, to get His sister's wedding goft from Bodyshop. Bought the new scent Wild Cherry.. IT was as sweet as her hehehehe. a Gift for Abg Faizal which include perfume and showel gel. We know it was a later wedding gifft.. sorry abt that, and Happy newly wed!
we went to Sakura buffet to have our dinner.. Converse about petty stuffs major stuffs and past stuffs.. So we eat our hearts out as well..
After dinner. Went to paragon metro and bought him a new wallet. I HOPE He likeees and Loves it it it it itt! =))

we Didn't went To M.b Instead we chill at ur home park and just talk.. and talk.. i definitely miss him so much..as he will be in Taiwan for 3 Long weeks.. Oh well.. The next day after work.. Mt him at J.P. MAKAN our favourite Burgerr!!!! the topsy turvey yummy mummy Burger! presto! accompany him to buy his pants and top.. and off we went home.....
I miss him.. I love him... and will definitely wait for him...

The pakcik/atok security will be my most fear now. Happy birthday kak fad =)

Musique

2009-04-07T16:34:00.000+08:00

This is my forever best favourite song....

I can't wait for later! =)

silent.

2009-04-06T16:05:00.000+08:00

Obviously... everyone was lookin at me due to my eye bags. i didn't sleep enough.. i cried alot.. and im unexplainably sad. I am not feeling well. my my nose blocked with a pile of snot.. and my eyes.. look somehow like red blood shot. I feel guilty and remorse for my mistake.. and i jus need one thing. for him to smile & come back to me.

i wonder.. how is he doing at camp. has he eaten? has he had enough rest? are the trainings cancelled? is he ok? is everything ok.. is he sick? did his cough return? did he smoke too many?
All of the questions runnin tru my head... and yet not an answer available.. his silence is killing me silently...

I shallnot continue typing for the moment. im exhausted.. sadden.. and emotionally drained.

I'm Lost without You..

2009-04-06T09:17:00.000+08:00

I woke up, i read his msgs. I look upon my ceiling. Time seems to be pausing. The world seems so still. so still. That my heart froze and shudder upon reading it again.

I thought i can be strong but honestly i can't. I LOST THE RING AND I SUCK I SUCKKKK AS A GIRLFREN. IT IS MY MISTAKE MY FAULT MY EVERYTHING... AND I AM SO STRESSED UP TO THE LEVEL WHERE I NEED TO EAT ... ITS MY 5TH PANDAN CAKE NOW. I JUS AM SO STRESS. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO I TRIED AND DID EVERYTHING. I WANT HIM BACK...

resah yang ku
ubah dalam kata
melukiskan kesunyian
tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti
meski
pagi itu menatapi
akan sunyi tanpamu
menemani aku sepi

tanpa..
cintamu aku resah
tanpa..
kasihmu aku hampa
tanpa..
dirimu aku nanti

Kini benar-benarku rasakan
dalam benuk hatiku tanpamu
aku tak mengerti
takut
takut jauh cari dirimu
kan kau tinggalkan aku sendiri
tanpamu ku mati

Stilettos Or Vans.

2009-04-03T10:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a normal day at work for me. Nothing happen. just normal normal average stuff. So before going back home. I went to The Popular at J.e with kak iza accompanying me to get board for my d.i.y stuffs. Next destination was IMM. had baked rice at SP2. kacau nurul byk2.. hehehee! and the most unexpected to see was Amran with his family.. and tried to call sayang but failed due to the bad reception.. and after dinner.. went to some several shoe shops. AND I AM IN LOVE WITH A PAIR OF VANS SLIP ON... its so beautyful and SOO my taste!. BUT there is not High cut for D Guys! bawwring! I tried on a few Stilettos. i swear if i wear it with jeans IT will be the most perfect die match to go!
Kak iza treat me back home by a cab.. and upon reaching home, take a longgg long warm comforting shower and start on my d.i.y. its only 50% complete But i LOVE IT LIKE HELL! I really miss my dearest alot and he has to do sentry guard till 2 am.. kesian seh my baby =( __ after sending a couple of msgs to dearest and i knocked out.

Today; prepared my usual stuffs to work. and in the earlie of mornings i am already pissed by someone'at work. i jus can't wait to be back home and finish off my diy.. besok da sat.. and sun.. and.. mon..and..tues.. and wed!
I AM WAITING TO SEE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i MISS him like Nuts with extra chocolate fudge and sugar on it plus with a touch of sweet strawberries on the sides! I HOPE he Love the d.i.y stuff assss much as i do..

In a blink of an eye.....

2009-04-01T13:10:00.002+08:00

I woke up in total shock; thanks to my dream - some dude trying to murder me off...

Sometimes I think that my ideas will some how prevail my future. But I was wrong. We plan God decide. As ive read my past past postings. I guess alot of my decisions have changed. REALLY changed. DRASTICALLY changed! And i wonder how did i able to withstand the problems.. really alot of problems.. during late end of the months last year.. and now looking at my life now. I feel a whole lot better. I actually am way past over my shuddering nightmares; standing on my two feets. Somehow back then I wish....

he could save me, from that horrible place that unfortunate night

My dearest; will be back tmr due to his camp activities. So the whole time has been
quiet without him. BUT not until the late afternoon.. where 3 of my kecoh cousins called me up at the same time. But. technical errors happen. I will meet abg dani later, he needs someone to listen to his downpour. and also i need a guy's opinion for a wallet which i intend to buy for Taufik RXZ heheeee! SAAAAAYANG DIA! i hope he's doing fine in a midst of training sIgh~~~...
I cannot wait for 8. just tak saba nk surprise him.. before he left for taiwan..

I definitely love the way U declare your love for me

Cold Day

2009-03-31T13:32:00.002+08:00

It was freezing at work today.. No matter how many layers of coat & cardigan i put on, yet my fingers felt like a block of ice. I posted about more than 10 letters at work today.. and I feel quite irritated since mornin cause i forgot to bring my cheque to bank in(YEAAAP my pay is out!). Nothing new at work jus normal stuff..
After work Im off to kak fad's home to dye her hairr..Syg's so beezee with army stuff at camp. and rightt now I crave for Nasi goreng kicapp.... HAHAHAA.. and 10 comFyy blankets to be pileddd on meee!
Its already the 3rd week i am working here. I can't be bothered to put on additional make ups. I jus draw my eye brows.. I want to try something different; to be more natural in a sense..
Yesterday, mama, papa and me were trying to attract snowey's attention to come to either of us.. and of coz tat notti princess toyey didn't come to me.. she went to my dad.. I simply told her... dunn sleep with me tonight.
Unfortunately for me, my asthma taunt me last night. I had my medications and fallen aslleep while msging dearest. I didn't even made it till 12 midnight to wish him a good 2 month old anniversary. Im sooooooryyy BabYY..
When I woke up about 4am, my door was ajar and princess toyey was sleeping on her usual spoT. I reached out to close Ms. Door. and pat toyey a fewww timess... Welcomed by her soft purr.. i fall asleep again...with my hp in my hand and half unread msgs..

Love is broad; if you love someone, you love all things, not just their beauty. Love is narrow; you love one and only one, compared to them, no one matters.

~ A.Braxton ~

3 dandy post in 1 (:

2009-03-30T15:42:00.001+08:00

Day 1
After work. Met Ms. Dyana Banana at Douby.. definitely i miss her craziness.. and we chat and talk alot.. went to MadeWithLove to get my DIY stuff. I should have say Yana is really talented in arts and she inspired me alot to design my art stuff. HEHE! THANK U YANAAAAA.!!! so after buying stuffs.. we bought mackidonals and sat outside and enjoy the plain sky and laughter.. i forgot what we laughed about.. but it was definitely a loud one.. even apeks sitting beside us walked off. well, who cares.. after two long week of work, someone definitely to release it all out ritey mitey? after had a good whole laughter with Dyana, accompany her back home and den syg was just right on time, maybe earlier to fetch me and we sat somewhere near my home. reallie miss him like crazyy and laughh somemore till my previous headache frm too much laughter keeps adding on..

Day 2
I went to work with extra cup of happiness on my face! i know i am meeting him after workkk yIPEEE!!.. so boss didn't came today thusss lets say.. I kinda msn the whole time??..Sayang's at the workshop for bike inspection.. so he's a lil bit late.. Reached Starbucks and had my usual Frappe and My unsual Blueberrie muffin. My eyes shift through the road.. locating for my only Taufik RXZ to come by..
Daaa la lambatt lagiii boleee minum airr orgg.. tak tanyee plak tu.. hehehe! The problem with us is that we always have no idea on where to go whenever we meet. Dropped by Burger king where its' kinda empty and theee sauccy topsy turvy burger is goodness deliciouslyyy OMG. And taufik sang for the "Malay version" of Baa Baa Black sheep. Its hilarious I tell u... its like bapak kambing bapak kambing ada tak bulu? or is it kambing hitam kambing hitam ade tak bulu?.. anyway watever waY, it sounnds soo hilarious esp. the bulu part HAHA!

The unexpected part of today, we went to Istana park.. listen to Mp3 and sing along together.. really he has a dreammy dreammie dreammiee voice that can mesmerized me. And after a bowl of singing and laughter, we brought up funny memories in the past.. nextt destination : our usual Marina Barrage. we only sat quite a while because its kinda late.. and back to my home place.. N i did something cruelly sweet to him.. =) and off back home !!! =DDDDDDDDDDD

Day 3
I woke up with a headache and realising its already 12 noon. Had half of my nasi ayam penyet.. and put it aside. Dear ask me out to pay my fines for Library and also accompany him to send food over his aunty's hm and also get his inspection letter. Upon reaching the library and paying my fines, syg suggested that I should borrow books.. o well, i ended up with books of recipes instead of novels. HEHE! At least something to read upon at work. N yelaa reccomend i smuaa bukuu lowww fattt! grrrr.. I KNOW i am fat! and he has the cheeks to laugh it off.. siap je.
Next went to Wcp to enjoy mr'sun and mackidonalds fries.. Bila nk balek beli kan mama barang.. his back tyres' got flatten.. and it was really shaky on the bike.. and the weather was about to pour.. we got down.. call Mr Mangkok for help and syg have to leave me at teban for my own safety while he slowly rode the bike to workshop.. I swear to god i was freaking worried with the rain pouring and waited every sec for his msg or call . In the end, knowing he was at some workshop opposite chinese garden. Took a bus at stop at J.e. By the time i was there, the bike was done and he fetched me. KESIANN babyy i.. basah kuyup.. so da beli ape yg perlu.. had hot tea and mackidonal again.. and i spend 20 mins nagging at him for not bringing the jacket.

And the day ended... with him singing for me Jangan pernah Berubah By ST12. it was soo sweet tat i nearly nearly teared.. andddd his voice i swear is as sweet as honey. I make him promise me that he will sing again on the 8th and let me record it.......
"Love is full of challenges and obstacles.. and im proud that we made it through ;)"

In the name of Life

2009-03-28T12:03:00.002+08:00

Sometimes. alone. I would definitely brushed up my thoughts about life. Once a person told whatever offer of help u give, u must be sincere and dun expect anything in return and that isn't sincerity. That makes me think! and i am like yes.. isn't that right.. And once another person told me that love someone sincerely and not because of wealth or etc. And yes.. thats another right. and My ustad always say mom's word is always the best and nvr to say no. Of coz sometimes i did say no.. but most of the time i admit i say yes.. ever since i followed my mom's advices and all.. my life has been more peaceful.. no more utterly bullshit coming into my life. and my love relationship is healthy indeed. N i dun expect anything from anyone. and sometimes small things become so big that it exploded to pieces.. n u have ought to learn the price yourself.

and i dun need any pieces of advice except my close close cousins.. and my beloved.. and my parents hehehe

Excruciating Nightmare

2009-03-27T09:32:00.002+08:00

well Im glad that the past two mornings have been blessfully happy for me. But Contradicting for today and Its supose to be a nice friday for me ):
& right now i am sipping hot green tea to calm my wholee self mentally and emotionally.
so wat happen?! Thanks to Ms Grey Leggings, I was late for bus. So dad had to send me over to lakeside. and it was super embarrasing.. well it started like this. I was searching high and low for my leggings.. and I ended giving up. Mama Misplaced it. =(
And so i was really late to change to another clothing. & i smsed dearest a mornin msg and offf i grab my wallet mp3 and hp and stashed it in my bag. and run for my dad's bike. ANDD the most whatever stuff is that I AM WEARING the half helmet which looks whatever on me.. unless of coz i am riding a vespa HEH HEH. sooo i jus dun care abt anythin... and on my way to lakeside. I realise that i didn't apply a single make up.. and not even drawing my eyebrows. that makes me wanna screammmmm.. so upon reaching lakeside, the conversation began :

Zakiah: Papa.. Don't stop so near the bus stop.. I look whateverr todayyy!
Papa: nobody is goin to look at you.
Zakiah: AHH PLSSS PLSSS PLSSSS....
(He ignored me and stop at a spot where's there's thousand of pple)
Papa: Zakiah, Zakiah.. org tu mesti pikir mcm nie, tgk budak pompan tu
kentall nyee dia!"
Zakiah: AHHHHHHHH! BYEEE LAAAAA (salamms and offfffff)
( and i can hear my dad's laughter wen i moved offf)

I went to restroom, redo my hair and rush for work. My hair ultimately sucks but thanks to the invention of clips I look ok. JUS MADE IT TO LEVEL "ok". EYEBROWS.. AuHGHHH. And i forgot to bring yana's Vitae. everythin jus so messed up today. If my dear nk ketawa.. ketawa laaaaaaa! hahahaha its once in a while to see me messed up.
da gitu takpee! wen i came back from lunchie, someone SO free did my a.r post. Then what am i here for??? i feel like telling the person. why not u do everything for me then.. I definitely am going to get my stiletto heels, definitely a must... I wan pls dear.. hot pink buuleh?! tODAe is the most pissed off day ever! talkin abt my appearance to my inner self and to my Job! Ughh

FUCK OFF!

Rainbow across the Grayest Darkest Sky

2009-03-26T10:05:00.001+08:00

Woke up at 4am, and start my breakfast with one piece of kfc chicken, a wholemeal bread with raspberry jam and a glass of warm water. & back to miss bed. This morning didn't seem quite as cheerful as the weather due to some disputes. However, things seems to beee back as sweet as they should until someone really shuts my mood at work.(kalau i pakai stiletto heels abiz la dia hahahaha)
Talking about stiletto.. im definitely gonna buy one..
they are a sexy die to get shoes!
Thankfully... sayang is there to brighten things up for me once again. and Futhermore im fasting.. so no point of getting miss crankie.

Tmr is Friday, will be doing some shopping with Dyana Banana at PS for some DIY stuffs. I definitely love the shop to bits! And i Basically hope Sayang will get to go off early and thenn i can wait for him at Chi.G. and go back samer2 anddd give him a good good good bear hug!

Today have good and bad.. The Good part is that.. My sayang is soo happy happy sekali..N one of the secretary commented that I look good! and can u believe it.. one of the lawyer told me to call some commisioner.. and the thing with this telephone is that.. u need to press "9" for calls outside office. and i forget to press as such.. and it began like this..

ring.. ringgg..ringgg..
Zakiah: Hello, good afternoon is there any commisioner available.?
Lawyer: OI HAHAHAH u call me lah!

and i was so embarraseed to death that secretaries and lawyers were laughing at me. OK WHATEVER.. HAHAHAHAHAHA..

The bad part? well i have to stop my fast due to personal problems. and it was a sad sad event. 4 more hours left.. and also.. my mood swing return and i had to ask my sayang to give me jokes.. soo i ended up laughinggg silently in the office.

& so during my "free times" i pranked call abg ain and abg dani.. which i end up laughing becoz i jus cannot imagine their faces. anyway they still recognize me in the end. whatever betol! thought of prank calling my dearest.. but takot plak dia tak jawab.. soo there's always a next time HAHAHAHA..! watch out Taufik RXZ.

so Okay enough babbling now.. i need to take my rest...

"love taught us to be stronger in life"

Icy Fingers.

2009-03-25T12:20:00.001+08:00

How i wish i can snooze up the clock even more. Off bed and soonn i start off another day at work. Reached workplace quite quite early abt like 8:15am?
So i laze around a lil bit,read newspaper and termenung sekejap.

So today i did a few outgoing mails and nothing much. The office is like a refrigeratorrrr; its freezing in here. and my fingers were icy cold. Im so happy for my dearest who passed his S.O.C .. da tak paya nk lari 3.5km.. bole rilek2.. so today's schedule.. is nothing much.. after work.. i plan to go home straight away and break my fast.. My pay day is coming up real soon in 4 days..
To think back, time really do flies.. its already been 2 weeks since i worked for this company. and soon enough my dearest is flying off to taiwan.. ))):
O well.. so much for everything; yet no reply available. O well, i don't expect anything either. because as long as i did it sincerely.. then everything will fall into places. Truth will always be vague, and always be vague. And friends from last chapters of your storybook will start flying back into your life doing a lil catch ups; and it stops there.

Once home, gonna kicked off my vans slipped out of my clothess... have a warm nice shower, pray and im going to prepare roasted chicken for fun.. its been a long time since i last played with ingredients.. and wait for my fried kway teow to come home. Ireally feel sooo horrible as a pet owner, neglecting to bathe my kitty. its not that i dun wanna bathe it. I jus dont see a nice time. anddd hell who says my delicate-looking princess is delicate. there's always a monster behind a delicate person.

i SOLEMLY promise that i will bathe her on SUNDAY. this comin sunday In the noon.

you're my cuppy cake sugar plum..humdidumdidum..and ure. my sweetie pie...ur my sugrm sshuglam blablabla.. the apple of my eye...& i love u so.. & i want u to know.. HAHAHA ok that song was in my head..

saturday saturday saturday

If the world look upon YOU as a person. I look upon YOU as The World.. Love u syg... bile mau racE? (:

Goodnite Toyey..

2009-03-24T11:00:00.002+08:00

Its been a wonderful morning.. o well quite wonderfull till boss called me askin me about the phone line. Yesterday was uber fun. went out with taufik.. (: before he went back to camp at nite. everything seems sooo tranquil when i am with him. Definitely alot of laughter and thousands of jokes to share about.. And i shall reccomend u guys this place for the sweet tooThie! waffles at suntec. I forget the shop name.. but the fondue is nice.. and basically all sweet. but there's a weird weird weirdo flavour.. waffles with tuna.. okayy.. but we didn't go for waffles with name-your-flavour catogary.. we went for the ice cream.. soo nice of him to actually brought me there. (: we talked alot shared alot!!and talk and talk and talk.. ice cream for u and me. with lots of love and dipped in kisses
till the sun goes down..(which reminds me of arctic monkeys)
i never had enough talkin to him.. everytime after i went out with him, and step into the house, i miss him already.. sighest..

about 10pm.. lina came to print.. can u imaginee we didn't exactly know how to use end up waste alot of paper and alsoo A BIG COPY of Lina's IC hahaha! klaka gile.. asik ketawa and swearing at the same time..if nurul and yana was there aswell the swearing gets even more... i hope she's doing well at work today! we spend printing 5 papers for 1 hr. dun ask me why ok? we are jus printer noobish!
Kesian aunty ainon have to wait in the car.. ):
nk klua same2 lagi.. ?

At night i carried princess toyey (as pronounce by baby adawiyah; which real pronounciation is Snowey) into my room.. ended up she didn't wanna sleep with me.. i guess she merajuk with me becoz yesterday nite i left toyey alone while i sleep at aunty ramlah's place to teman my aunt. Mama say toyey lay down infront of the hall door the whole night till i came back home in the wee hours :'( cedih nyee... cian la my baby toyey..!

"Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle... rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be."

Memorial meaningful day;

2009-03-22T23:59:00.001+08:00

Today my heart beats so fast cause i know its the day i had to go to Taufik's sister wedding; Kak rina and abg Faizal. (congatulaaaaaaaations) which meant also that i would see his family and to add more spoons of nervous and a cup of breathlessness, my parents are coming. I spend doing my hair quite long so that i will look presentably good and not too overrrrrrrrrrated.

Upon reaching. My dearest met us and kenal2 kan dgn mama papa dia.. so far so good everything is good. he showed us a table and we sat and eat happily and chit chat among us. I am soo happy that my dad didn't give the negative aura of rejecting any Guys in my life. i Guess he seen his baby girl grown up. AND WOW.. i definitely love the concept of the wedding deco and pelamin smua segalanya.. ITS TOTALLY awsomely grand and beautifully gorgeous.. and pengantin diaa punnn gorgeous and splendid - looking. i was awed and amazed by the designs and deco and the beauty of the Princess of the Day.

And the most sweetest thing sayang did for me.. was to dedicate a song for me..and deejay said something....... I swear to god. i Blush more than i Should. iwas shaking and trembling but veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy very happy gilerr.. and mom whisper something at dad and both of them looking at me annd smilling like one kind...... wanna know wats the song. i shall.. post it at the bottom.. (:

Bila the guy's side arrive.. and take alot of pictures..i am soo happy for kak rina.....! although i may not know her that welll and she saved my life before. I am jus so happy forher and her husband. may god bless their life and love till eternity.. Taufik did talk to dad and i didn't know what was the conversation about. but i am happy becoz he has the courage and brave to talk to my papa.. and its the first time a guy did dat!
So before we left.. I went to congratulate kak rina myself and give her two cheerful kisses. and took a picture with my family and dearest.. pastu salam mama diaa.. and taufik walked us back to car.....

@ home mom was really excited, she likes likes likes taufik alot.. she say's he's gentleman and really knows how to amik hati pompan.. which definitely beam me even until now.. and she keeps on askin abt taufik every now and then.. which i feel such a relieved that finally my parents had met him properly and accepted..

to: kak rina & abg faizal; semoga dipanjang kan umur dan di luaskan rezeki.. zakiah doakan kamu berdoa sentiasa gembira together anddddd happy newly wedS! Once again congratulations upon ur happiest day of ur lives. I am awed by the beauty of love

"thank u love, for the sweetest thing u did for me today.. it was a memorable and an honour to meet ur family.. and i am happy and HAPPY that my family accepts u. i love u alot this will forever be a sweet memory"

110th and counting....

2009-03-19T13:56:00.002+08:00

ok. so i am work now. doing nothing but typing. im not in a good mood especially so i need to blog. everythin jus sucks right now...... with work and definitely my guy. nowadays it jus seem so tense becoz tats wat i feel. he's off to taiwan and we cant get to meet each other so often. and taiwan is like 3 weeks. there's still so many things to do. i want to ask him to shop together for his sis weddin.....go eat at sakura before he leave. but how? helloo i am a planner.. of coz i know wat to do... its jus i find it hard to find a nice space for us to talk abt this..

i love the sorry card he gave to me its so sweet and so lovely and always be..

u know how impossible the matter seems to be .. i will always try to make it possible no matter wat

"the strings of our relationship seems to be tensed.. lets try to another way round to let it relax.."

Btw.. on my way to posting of cheques and letters. I saw my favourite sexy car.. Lamborghini.. but its not gallardo that i wanna see.. its Mucielago and its in mystery gray.. superb giler i tell u.. i was like one metre and it sped off.. the sounds of the rumbling engine cause my heart to skip a beat! mcm nk jumped on the car and nvr let it go sampai owner to kasi kereta dia baruuuu aku let go. ahhahahaha The brakes were in bright yellow...! so.. even when i reach back the office.. i was breatheless I jus want that mucielago...........So ffar working here is quite a positive job for me.. BECOZ I GET to see all my fav cars.
*imagineee if one day i get to drive a gallardo....FUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHH
HHHHHH
. and then i will say
"Taufik Rxz, jom raceee. straight road clear traffic. HEH HEH ."

*love u Dearrr

Too much

2009-03-17T19:51:00.001+08:00

OK i jus came back from work.. did my prayers and yet i still havent touch my food yet because i need to update my blog hhehe.. its been like decades since i last updated i think. Work have been great and so far so good learning new stuffs like R.A posting and also doing speedpost for example calling for despatch to take away the mails. haha ok what i am talking about work for..
I have been sleeping early for the past few days... i cannot be bothered about internet.. agaknye my pet society da kene eat up by zombie flies. Today at work, some cleaner tot i was eurasion by race and catholic by religion. it seems kinda funnie to mee but o well.. confusion happen.. The funny thing happen today was that, wen i was about to move out from the restroom, my slipper got stucked in between the door and the floor... *It happen in split seconds.. and i was definitely blushingg. but thank god nobody seem to notice*

I have been eating macspicy.. it taste so good and fatening.. yea fatening but i dun care for now. i mean.. i am not like a weight watcherrrrrr so i dun really mind for NOW. alot of things well major things have been happening....... and one day it all happen and everything is destroyed. im glad i get to see the truth myself.
i MISS dearest.. he's having his c.h.o training prior to preparation for taiwin 3 weeks. sigh miss him alottt.....................i hope he's doing alrite.. damned the mosquitos for biting him .. i definitelyshall bite themback.,

exhausted is eating me now............

Work work work

2009-03-12T20:28:00.001+08:00

OKay soo its the end of second day of my work.. my post job is receptionst, working under a law firm company.. so we deals with lots of cases.. and the fun part i get to stampp with diff kinda stamp......HAHAHA. . so far so good. jus disagree with one girl at my work place.. but its a tiny miny matter I think. im exhausted to my bones.. and its scary to be at raffles at 12noon with all the people which look kinda similarrr wearing smart business shirt.. and they are scattered everywhere.. so i decided not to wear smart shirt and go for something else.. hahahaha.. enof of work stuff.......

Thank god saturday half day. can relax... i miss my syg alot.. he';s going taiwan soon for 3 weeks. sigh.. im seriously upset.. i hope.time will pass likeee the bullet train.. i miss u syg. i miss u. ok.
so. wat else? i am tired.. i need to rest. ciaw sin chi. BTW. YESTERDAY GADO ngn cina.. kecoh gile.. nasib tak bertumbuk.. almost almost... kecoh.. giler..

"My love for you is like a red, red rose,It started as a seed but it’s grown and grown.Its roots reach deep down inside of my chest,And it grows even more with each passing breath.The delicate petals lay beautiful and pure,All the doubts that I’ve had you have since cured.For all the thorns that this proud rose bears,They are all softened by the thought of your care.Soon the rose grows old and withers and dies,But the love that helped grow it will last for all time"

Worst Mood of all

2009-03-09T23:09:00.001+08:00

ok FIrst org kat lua niee very noisy talkin on the fone outside my window like its hiss personallll place. its really loud and eating me alive. if i were to explode rite now, i would open my window and scream at his face.. but thank god i am not a such person.
TODAY has been the whatever u can name it a day for me. bingit. boring. geram. irritating. this is the time when i called period of the month.

let me tido pun cantek seblom i become more bingit .
sedih..........BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE.. CALM down....................

k ah i am really upset right now. nothing can change my mood. thanks to my card reader. my pictures store from my NZ to birthdays to everything all corrupted and hilang. seriously upset. there are like nice pictures i would like to upload but its all gone like that. thats the problem with digital. it messed up ur life something.. and i am so messed up. my mood is - 60. thanks

the person i needed the most has already wandered off to lala land.. and i didt even haf the chance to tell him i love him tonite becoz of my anger and mood. i tried to be the mosst calmestt and understandin person yet i failed. becoz i failed to control my emotions and i am just a human being. and this is wat i called. bursting moment. takde mood!

In a Moment of time.

2009-03-08T23:45:00.001+08:00

If it wasn't for that pink bag;
my eyes would have wander away..
If you didn't keep on trying;
there would never be us today...
If i didn't give u that letter;
i would be a stranger to u until now..
If you didn't ask me out;
we wouldnt make it this far...
If God didn't give us the chance;
i wouldn't be blogging about you now..

The last three days of my life was awsome.. museums great with yana.. INTERVIEW MEREPEK GILER. nie smua psl pakcik memintak tissue. u can ask dyana about it. pfft i wouldn't even wanna remembr such events in my life. thanks eh yana ketawa kan aku kuat2 mcm takde hari besok dan smalam. to yana: thanks for helpin me out tru the interview and accompany me tru out the whole day and laugh with me like there's no tmr... she's my buddy cam, history fan, and laughinggg memberrs HAHAHAHHAHA asik ketawa je bila ngn kau.. HAHAHHAHA

the next day went out with dearest. it was like ahappy rejoicing for us because for the past few weeks there is a lil bump here and there. as usual kite tak tau mana nk pegi.. ok today i wanna make my post a little extra special and typing it out in malay nothing but malay lets try. da tak tau mana nk pegi kite pun pegi starbucks.. and bebual bebual psll life becoz da lama jugak takjumpa.... and i told him about pakcik kasi tissue.. kesiannn aku kene ketawa jugak mcm tiada hari besok dan smalam.. so syg tak abiz2 kacau me about the tissue stuff. TO HELL WITH TISSUE GRRR. and syg punye la manis (Sweet) kasi i barang board with all the receipts that we spend together and stufs like picture... and blakang board tu ade some sweet sentence.. manis nye!!! i likee. i LOVE IT. pastu da makan kenyang2 kite pun akhirnye balek..
HAHAHA K I KNOW MY MALAY SUCKS.. IT sounds too formal man.. but i like it. becuz its me.

I wanna thank kak yana and bro E. for the stuffs from K.L. and stuff yg i kirim kan untuk encik T. they were lovely and gorgeous. love u all.. and love u sayang ingat kan i slalu di dalam mimpi mimpi manis mu.

Hari ini Maulidul Rasul; Marilah kite beramai2 berselawat ke atas Nabi Muhammad s.a.w ((:

happy unexpected day

2009-03-05T23:06:00.001+08:00

today's weather is soo lovely at night.. its raining non stop and its soo coldd.. snowey is hidingg under my tvv cupboard because of the loud thunder.. isnt she a babyy!? ok ok. so today nothing mucch happen. i slept and eat alot hehee hee hee. i really eat alot. hehehe.. and den in the afternoon got a called from some company to go for interview =D so happy.. im feeling a lil bit upset because my dearest has to go taiwan for 3 weeks training. Bingit gile la boring pun ade.. sedih siak.................. i jus hope i get the job so time pass fast mcm ape. AND TAK SABA NK JUMPA DIA ON SAT HAPPY GILE! IN UR FACE PPLE! hahahahha yesssssss i love himm and in love! wuhuu i miss him andbeing missed haha! I WANNA DANCEEE becoz dia tak ya buat guard dutyyy so happppppppppppy! mcm nk joget kat depan road sane! HAHAHAHA
NK JOGET SAMER2................. OK i wanna update yesterday's yesterday's photos. and TWO pics of my snowey now and den! cute geram mcm nk gigit.,
snowey Then Snowey Now
NK JOGET SAMER2.................
OK i wanna update yesterday's yesterday's photos. and TWO pics of my snowey now and den! cute geram mcm nk gigit.,

snowey Then ; Snowey Now

And lastly... I love you..

"pls dun ever leave me.."

Super woman (:

2009-03-05T00:11:00.001+08:00

OK. so. today. is unbelievably me. but i am proud of myself.

i woke up. hp's on the floor. so.... today i plan to cook chicken rice with my roasted chickenn ((:
kak yana came by beause she didn't have work to do and so she join the cooking fun as well. and her chicken soup and chapchai is delicious. mama taught me how to cook the perfecct rice for chicken rice and also the sambal..
sms yana anddddddd i tot she was comin.. but tat Dyana Bananay woke up late as well.. so plans changed.. ON friday i wanna ask her along to the wonderous library. One thing about yana that i like she almost have the same interest as me - MUSEUMS AND BOOKS AND PHOTOGRAPHS. that is just soooo like us............. i love her! and her sister nurul........... is always workinnn wonder wen she wanna go out with me x) haha. miss her nonsensical self........

so during the afternoon my bro had to go for his interview. so i had to prepare his clothes and food for him.. told him to wear short sleeve smart shirt cause at least it looks proper.. but he went back tellin me "zakiah.. member2 aku ckp aku mcm mat kothai" I laughed my ass off! sorry bro! butt its ok to look like that once in a blue moon!

so today.. is jus another simple day at home.. and i would like to congratulate myself for making my blog a real permanent blog for this time. =) HAAHA HO! been discussing stuff with my dearest abt life and the future.. however, suddenly he silencee himself.. i guess he must be tired with the firing and S.O.C army stuff and falling asleep.. sigh kesian sehh my dearestt. kesian laaa my baby ade sorethroat.. ))): i hope he get well soonnnnnnnnnnnn TAK SABA NK JUMPA.. rinddduuuu nyee...and soo happy last night he gave me a surpriseeeee call! soo sweet.. miss his voice.. like mad.. and did i tell u? he has a super nice voice when he sings..!

"The rose that you gave me has faded, and wilted away. But, the love tucked in deep inside us will remain in my heart forever."

Miss Impossibly Lazy

2009-03-04T00:20:00.001+08:00

I was startled by my alarm at 8 am. so i was groaningggg and i wish to back to sleep msg lina that i "Had something on" so i would reach there ard 10 plus. when my dearest wishes me good mornin.. i replied him back closing my eyes hoping the msg would be somethin like "wake me up at 945" and it sort off didn't or did it? and den I GO BACK TO SLEEP like i never sleep before.
upon reachin im supposed to do job huntin with my cousins. ended up laughing eating and laughin send a couple of resumes and went out ard afternoon to go some agencies. even worst we only went to one pathetic agency and den Lina's off with her mate and me and yana went to vivo and jln2. some job hunting we had. i could swear to u i was feeeling patheticly lazy and lazy.

The whole time me and yana was like either laughing or laughing and laughing. when we were eatin mackidonalds. i was nagin at her to end off her singlehood and get a guy soon. and the MOST FUN part of today was we went to some shop named "National GeoGraphic" and it was awsome with gallery of photographs in the past and at different countries and the artifacts were amazing. didn't i tell u guys i am a historical lover and i love museums alot!!!!!!!

we also went to "Page one" and look at all sort of books and too baddd "eclipse" da sold out! i am still waiting for part 3. i even glance tru a book on photography.. reallie artistic..
AND i am still pissed off and geram. went to every cute gift shops to find this special key chain i saw a year a go. and the package comes in two key chain. one bear holding half of the heart and the other keychain holds a bear with another half of the heart.. it is superrr ccutee! i wanna buy that for me and my dearest.. jus trying to find tat shoooop!

I really miss my taufik alot being he's in camp.. and i knoww todayy is his superrr relaxin day with niceee mealss and the weather is just awsome for him to sleep ahahahhaa.. =))))) i miss HIM! come back hme quick! i super loveeee the shoes he bought meee two months ago... and it really makeee my legs look outstanding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehe and the weather is jus perfect for me to wear to keep my cute feet warm!!! not to forget i love the buyer alot too! miss his sacarism to the max with a tint of nagging concern!

"Love is the key to unlock the impossibilities"
~Fikayo Ositelu ~

I am in love with....

2009-03-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,

I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?

Why do I love you? I think and smile,because I know the list could run on for miles.

The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,

so many little things that make me love you so much.

The way you support me, and help with my emotions,

the way that you care and show such devotion.

The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,

and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.

The way your eyes shine when you look at me,lost with you forever is where I want to be.

The way that I feel when you're by my side,a sense of completion and overflowing pride.

The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,

the possibilities I see and the things we can do.

How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,

how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.

I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,

but all you really must know is my love for you is real.

Ze 101th Post

2009-03-02T02:54:00.000+08:00

5 Minutes to 3am and yet i still havent sleep. I have just finished watching Hannibal from HBo. Its god damn disgusting; skull being cut out and exposing Bloody cerebrum or simply known as cortex of the brain...* and it looks better than yana home made kimchi HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! * but the plot somehow confuse me and i search tru Wiki to find out more about this dude hannibal.. alright.. it is related to psychopath and mass murder. I am quite interested with the minds of psychopath; but I don't wish to even meet them in life.
Ok now my kitty Kat is sleeping in the middle of my bed and forgetting that the bed belongs to her owner.

In the afternoon.. called nurul shared stuff and den went out with my folks to get an oven and some groceries to stock up the fridge. ITs already March. HOW DID TIME PASS so fast? its so fast................................ FAST. 90% of my issues with my dearest has settled.
KaK yana gave me a shawl and two similar so-called-long-proverbs for me and taufik to read and giving me positives vibes in relationship and the shawl jus to make me feel better from the downside turmoil. * Thank u kak yana. i am loving d shawl. and the stuffs u gave us! its sweet* I am still sorry for everything that i has caused him to be sad. ): sigh.
im tired. my eyes are tired. brain is tired. hands are tired.

O yea i feel like re-naming Snowey to Shambray. i Found out the name from animal planet; Pure Breed golden retriever's name Chambray. haha! sometimes i feel like my kitty kat is a dog. & everytime i would call her Shambray, she would just give me the My-owner-is-nuts-Look. HAHA i know i am but its for a fun thing . of coz i wouldn't change her name.. she's My baaaaby!

"Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. You may be one person to the world, but You are The World to Me."

My Favourite quote of the day :
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep;
The more I give to thee The more I have,
For both are infinite."
~William Shakespeare~
The Literature language of Love

Unwell

2009-03-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

I'm typing my heart out and with every ounce of strength left. Im exhausted and knackered. Today afternoon went to shengsiong with dear. he helped me with groceries and everything and discussing about tmr. yet i know i really wanna be there tmr but its just that im really shy. tmr whats the event? it is his cousin big day.. engagement =).

however things start to turn dark when my mom told me its not the right time and everything and however she plans to go for my dear's sister wedding invitation.. shockin.. but happening at the same time.. tried to explain stuff with my dear that i can't make it tmr.. he told me it's alright and everything fine yet i know he is not...................

during the kenduri at my home.. it was packed and kecoh.. everyone is happy. watched my bro's vid to haj. it was such an emotional stained show... im really tired.. and thanks to nurul who have help me did dishes together... and yana for being the ice cream server. hoho. appreciate it all..

despite the laughter and smiles for tonight.. yet my heart aches a million muscle and cry a million tears... i haf been thinkin of him all this while wonderin how is he doing.. i know he is shattered. but i am truly sorie.

Im having flu and fever now.. really upset today.. because he didn't msg me.. i know he is upset and disappointed with my answer and i didn't mean for everythng to happen this way. i know he's upset because no matter how bz he is, he will always try to msg me. but today.. today is jus a different sad day. i tried to msg him but he didn't even include sweet words to me tonight.. i know i have hurt him and guve him an empty promise.. i know i have hurt u dear but i am truly sorie from the bottom of my heart......i didn't mean too. i didn;t// im upset, sick and exhausted....... nothing can make me happy today

"Even tho today did have a happy ending for us.. i still love u but its more than yesterday... and when i wake up tomorrow morning it will be more than today. I know I have crushed and shattered your heart.. but I am truly sorry.. I have to listen to her.. and i did ask her 3 times.. and the answer didn't changed.. i know u want me to meet your family.. but the time will come soon.. i reallie love you alot.. and i am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart"

Nervous Breakdown

2009-02-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

I am sooooooo effin nervous because finally the day has come = HE COMIN BACK TO SINGAPORE YAHOO.................!!!!!!!!! but i am seriously nervous now.. even now i have a hard time breathing and this is my 99th post. i am so freaking nervous.. i wonder how will his reaction be after 14 days of not meeting meeeeee his onlyy princess hehehehe... and i am reallie nervous. IM FETCHING Him at the airport at 7 am. butt he hasnt msg me or anything yet now. i am jus so freakingggggg nervous dattttttttttttt i wanna screammm....I AM ALWAYS SO NERVOUS WHENEVER I WANNA SEE him....... its like im gonna vomit out everything~! and buteflies in my stomachh.. I MISS HIM SO MUCCCCCH and im going crazy and nervous now.. i jus wanna hugg himm so bad bad bad badly. i am so nervous....i wonder will heeeeeee like freak out seeing me?!€ hahaha i dunno why but will he?! i am so planning to buy him muffins i see one! i am so nervous so nervvoussssssssssssssssssssssss my god! why am i so crazy........... i wanna meet him so badly yet i am so nervousssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! my kneess are shaking and so are my hands.....................! nervous breakdown I LOVE HIM ALOT. AND THE SPECIAL JAR I MADE FOR HIM I HOPE HE LIKES IT MORE THAN I DO! =) <3

"there are many ways to express love..... my way of expressing love to u is my greatest nervous breakdown! Because.. i don't have any nervous feeling meeting others.. ONLY YOU"

senseless

2009-02-21T01:03:00.000+08:00

Today i woke up late.. and i know tmr is going to be a saturday and soon enough i will meet him. I have been spending days watching korean and jap movies and sleeping all day to let the time pass so fast but.. it didnt. only when i went to sleep.. i did dream of him most of the nights..

in the afternoon i decided to check Brunei's weather. It seem to be thunderstorm.. i jus couldnt believe my eyes and starting to be paranoid and afraid. i jus wan him to be fine and doing everything in easy mode. thats all i want. safe;easy;and coming back FAST. FAST. faaaaast...............................................................
i just love him and miss him like god knows what. pls.......come back.........sigh.
jus what if he forget me. OK i am really getting paranoid.

well i did a lil somethinn for him wen he came back. hope he like it as much as i love it.

did Laundry abt 12midnite. i dun wan my parents to tire themselves over a pile of clothes. so I am TAKING OVER. and i am doing all the chores from vaccuuuum to wash......to mop........
at least to take off their burden...

"My worst fear is that you have forgotten me over the past 8 days without communication. i am waiting and still am. I am true to you and blind to others. Just be safe... for me. for your family"

the Best show ever

2009-02-20T01:26:00.000+08:00

Today morn, woke up at 8 by my fon called from kak yana.. and i had to attend to her because of some probs.........*pls may Allah give her strength and lessen her burden*
Collecting love seeds.. and walking alot...
Time passes really fast when at Al Majlis with her.. (it was like the 1st time ever since i went out). until.. i suddenly just took out my wallet and stared at his picture.. i was utterly upset. and even kak yana was seeing me so sad that she msged Taufik even tho he can't received it there.
I just want him back. want him back. (in my heart i prayed for him everysec for the weather for the training and everything to be easy for him)
Back at my block, i waved them (kak yana and abg e. good bye and they rode off). Took two paracetamols and a long cold shower and off for a rest.
I'm stil having my fever.. i am so missing him.. i miss him even more than ever it can be explained.

I have just finished watching a Japanese movie titled "Koizora". a lil sypnosis. abt love endurance pain and death. I give it 5 bites out of 5. Its now been my favourite and it topped all other movie even twilight. And its true, it has bring millions to tears and one of them is me. Please guys. for those who wanna give it a try and see what love means.... http://www.mysoju.com/koizora/ a great plus No lagging d(^_^)b

"If i am unable to see or listen or read anything about or from you.... i prayed that Allah will keep you safe and at ease.. and I will pray that I will get to see you in my dreams; The only way to ease me"

an early morning

2009-02-18T09:51:00.000+08:00

well i woke up early today because dad was asking me what i wanted for breakfast... hmm.. so now i can't doze back off; had my 8 hours of sleep. Yesterday was a boring and sick day. My fever came back and had to take two paracetamol to sleep. i am still not sure how today is gonna be like. i have no plans. maybe, maybe so i sew my two pants which i plan to do so a month ago HAHAHA! and den.. maybe..maybe so....... i could........do my manicure again? oh yes............. I WANNA EAT KFCCCC!

another 8 more days and my miserable will finally rest. he hasnt contact nor msg me since sunday..s'kay.. he has problemm with the autoroam thingee. but i can still live each day. tmr will drop by nurul and yana's home to jus lepakkkkkkkkk... its been so long since i last saw dem.. the last? at marina barrage. HAHAA. ok toodles i need to feed my angry tummie

a lil story; past.present.future

2009-02-17T00:04:00.001+08:00

well truth is i actually can't actually cope with my surrounding without him and everyday is like a dragging hell to me. but thanks to the people around me i feel kinda alright and in place.

after i met my beloved; he showed me the right way on earth when i was so already messed up than before. Now i only spend time with my family; their girlfrens; my cousins and at home. my parents honestly have greatly reduced their nags and frowned faces at me because i am more controlled, well behaved at home. its amazing how to actually see what love has changed us and what do we changed for love.. right now.. i am thinking of him.. missing him so badly..

sometimes, love has it weird ways.. it need extra ton of patience to get really what we want.. honestly.. my feelings for him has never ever disappear ever since i saw him for the first time at school.. he just caught my heart and i jus simply cannot him out of my head. what caught my eyes was his pink flip flops. ITS MY FAV colour... and so wen i look up to his face.. i just has this crush towards him. what makes me even more crazier than ever for him.. its hard to find him at school.. its hard to see him.. he is so low profile.. - always been my type of guy. i do admit i try ways and ways to get him to notice me. and so finally.. i wrote carefully on a yellow paper carefully; confessions of my design - it was his last day at school for him. i had to do something. its now or never. and so i gave it to his friend to pass to him.

but to my dismay it never work out for us during that period because he has his personal problems and its impossible for us to get close. rejection brought me down and thus i move on of anger. and den i met my ex. i honestly admit i still contact with taufik when i was with my ex bacause HELLO..... i crushed on taufik for 2 long years - never i stayed my eyes on someone for soooo longg.. and so i know this is just a fantasy and it would nvr work between us and i know i had to stay true to my ex.. and den shit happens with my ex. love sucks. hatret hurt and disappointment for 3 long pathetic years.. and even tho taufik tried to contact me i jus couldn't be bothered to replied.

i remembered that night i just finished a game of badminton with my family and someone called and when i answered; the person hanged up and has the heart to msg me wrong number. my basic instinct told me it was taufik. i dunno why. and from there we started to contact. but taufik left a while because he knows i had someone else.. yet he came back suddenly.. AND i know i was betraying my one month old ex. and in my heart i simply know my ex wasnt the one for him becausewe simply don't have any common interest and we just can't be together. i had to end it because i didn't want to get hurt neither do i wanna hurt him anymore. and i need a true man who loves me, romantic, passionate and not just a company who feel like i am boring and uninteristing.

We have never talk on d phone neither do we face to face and finally after 5 long years we met. That was our first meeting ever and the 1st time we talk and face each other that close. it feels like a dream to me.. a dream.. come true.. the thing that makes me wonder and asked him that night why did he never stop contacting me during that 5 years when i ignored and pushed him away.. his answer is that he believes that he will never give up on me and someday it will pay off.. And it did pay off my dear.. on my birthday he sent me flowers and a big minnie mouse.. it was the most special day ever.. never a guy sent me a bouquet of blue roses before.. why blue? because he said i was different from other girls and i was so unique and special to him. everytime i go out with him is a special day to me. another special day was on 31/01/09 . it was our special day cum celebrating his advanced birthday. that was when we became an item and it is just so special to me how he brought up the day that it make my tears flow...i will never forget that night my dear... i won't and never will.. the sweet memos will be in my head...pls don't regret we didn't get the chance back that because i didn't regret

so as i was saying love has it weird ways to really get what i wanted. maybe i have to wait for that long and suffer to get you in my life. and i swear i am glad i go tru tough relationships back then so i understand and be prepared now with you. and i am glad God made me learn the hard way back then and feel wat Hurts really meant... i rather feel the pain back then; than now. like what ive been asking all along in my prayers, i finally am happy and peace.. i almost forget what true love meant wen my ex left.. until you came along.. The bad Past has shaped me into a more understanding and better person. ...and i have never regret giving you the letter... i love you...

"Andaikan malam tiada pernahkan berakhir
Setiapku bersamamu mungkin tak berujung
Betapa rindu ini tak pernah mati
Kekasih hatiku hanyalah engkau
Saat mulut manismu memanggil namaku
Hatiku pun bergetar bagai terserang rindu
Bertapa aku menyanjungimu
Buta mata dan hati untuk yang lain
Memetik gitar menyanyi syair yang tulus
Persembahan kalbuku
Nantikan dikau ditidur lelapku, pujaanku
Burung berkicau tanda setia pada pagi
Ku dengan engkau tak bisa dipisahkan lagi
Jantungku kau mintapun kan ku berikan
Betapa dalamnya cinta untukmu"

days; decades

2009-02-15T17:24:00.001+08:00

Its feels like a decade to me but only three and a half days have passed. I've long to see his face and smile. Long to hear his sacarism upon my soul. Uncontrolled of wanting and missing cause my body to weaken and thus leave me with a fever day by day. trying had to subside it with the cold water and meds but nothing to avai.

it was last night that i finally get his one and only precious message from brunei; and that one msg meant alot to me. - thanks to his kind soul friend. I wonder what he is up to now probably training. the time isnt any difference here. I jus prayed for his well being each every seconds; minute; hours and days...
Its been a long time since i last missed someone so bad like this that it hurt myself. its more overwhelming than all other previous missing-ness.
I've been indulging with "new moon" which he has bought me as a present before he left.
Nothing seems interesting to me anymore. not even pet society. not even having the mood to get myself on the world wide web. My bed; my book; his pictures; my ring are all that mattered the most to me now. MOST to me. but. i want him to come back now if possible. I miss him terribly and dangerously.

For the days he has left.. i didn't even want to see the calender or counting the days; it seems so long as forever. tired exhaustion. i just want him to be safe and healthy.

"i seriously am in love with you"

an early night

2009-02-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

"I love you dear Not Only for what or who you are; but also for what i am when i am with you.."

im so tired. i dunno from what.. but definitely my eyes are dead beat on me.. ok soo.. i am happy finally i get to meet my dear.......

i woke up early at 6 for my morn prayerss and den i can't sleep a wink after tat becausee... i need to beat kak yana in some pet society game.... PFFFFT. watch out womaaaan...! so i played until 9.. didn't wanna msg my dear; i know he's tired from camp and all.. while i was like... err watchin tv maybe? deeYanuH bAnAnUH Called. askin me to accompany her to rp. to get her DAE done. so i told my dearrr to pick me up somewhere else instead..

ME and Yana were late becoz we were both clumssiee and forgetfull and additional of clumsiee.. can u imagine the sun is burnin tru my skinn reapin my boness; its seriously HAWT. Upon reaching rp.. THIS IS THE FUNNY PART PLS PAY ATTENTION.!

miss receptionist: could u pls write down both contact no. and e-mail on paper..
yana: u mean here???
miss R. : yes..
yana: (thinkin; lookin at me) dia suruh tulis ape ah???
Zakiah: HAHAHAHAHHA e-mail and no. HAHAHAHHAHA.. HAHAHAHA!JAHA
yana: diaaaammm ahhhh
Zakiah: LAUGH MADLY.. hahahahahhahahaha AND the lafter continues.

yana tat is super funny kkayy? well she had some "accidents" on her ear which cause her to be less OF HER usual self. soo.. yea cab reached and he took us the real long way *thank u pakcik*. bfffttt.. i told dear to be extra late so tat i would reach there 1st =). was tellin yana i wanna vomittt while waiting for taufik... seriously nervous.. thats jus me la ok. he came. she left for library and off to P.S ehe. watched underworld. its partially boring-gerek. and taufik sleeeppps in the mid of moviee.. grrr.. and there's alot of many weirdest part ; frm a guy tellin off a guy to stop shaking in the mid of movie; a cleaner shoutin at a passerby not to throw so loudly tat even the deaf like me can hear; dear sleepin in d movie; my couple ring was actually in my pocket all along =S

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO yea tat is abt today. i am looking forward for weds. tmr i wanna do my own laundryand sleep alot.. now waiting for the dear to get back to his bunkie. and to kak yana if u read this i cannot beat u tonite becoz stupid ccconnection lays back on me.

nurul'lyn'yana: thanks alot for the emotional support wen i was sad and all. i loveee u!

"your laughter keeps on playin in my mind.. and it makes me smile =) i am so going to miss u wen u leave for bruneeeeeeeeeeeeeei! takyaaaaaaaaaaaa pegi laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" =(

daydreamer; believer

2009-02-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

"the 1st time.. after 5 years OF NOT meeting u.. and i will never ever
forget the day till forever.. and if u ar reading it now... I AM TELLING YOU
HOW MUCCHH I MISSS UU SOO MUCHH COME BACK SOON . i love u ok! lovee u alottt.. alott.. like mad.. alot..
dun drive me crazyyy.......................<3"

alright.. alright.. i finally have the time to update my blog.. well not exacctly, i actually have the wholleee time to update my blog hahaha.. sooo today is not such a lazy day for me afterall.. i played society pets at facebook trying to catch up with deeyAnUH anay. =D HEHEH.

soo woke up quitee late i guess at 12 noon? and den........ watch some teevee.. watch more teevee.. and den....... bathe and eat up my breakfast.. ok my super late breakfast cum lunch. and den msg taufik some some msggies... and den.. i got soo piseed pissed off becauseeee my downloaded game application jus disappear and wenever i try to download again the connection got reconnect.. so i cannot be bothered anddd wait for kak yana to come and do her hair.. and the family went to east coast and eat non stop and den.. bought some clothes.. and den go back.. ok i am trying to make it so simplified yet i am sorie if it sound sooo seriouslyy borring...

so been playin the game whole day and left some nice msgs for my dear to read.. and i hope he's doing ok .. and i am soo proud of him for trying his very best and all the activities that he did at camp.. d(^_^)b hehehehe cute kann.. yett i am feeling so sad that he's leaving for brunei soon.. and yet nervous that he will comin back on the 28th. becauseeee he invited me for his cousin's engagement and that = to meet the family and it will cause a huge lump of big big rock at my throaaaaaaaaaaaat!

okkkkkkkkkk i will push everythin aside 1st.. miss him alot and will see him on monday. and i forgt to check the schs that i wanted to go.. i am so always the last min. and will always be last min. i will only be 1st wen it comes to shopping game and going out HAHA.

"i have to go through the hardest part of life to get you.......but when i have u in my life its seem so sweet everyday"

Damaged.Brain

2009-02-06T15:16:00.000+08:00

I am supposed to jog earlier this morning.. but i guess my forceps, legs and my cells wouldn't jus move. Sleep mode i presumed is the best for me everyday.. I have been waking a lil late than predicted. Been reading twilight for the past 2 days until like 4am each day.. and i am finishing in 20 pages more! =D and that causes me to wake up late and forget to charge my hp and in the end taufik got all worrieddddddddddd i am seriously so so so soriee.

Bruinei is reaching the corner in like how many days which i do not want to count.................sigh i wonder what will happen to him there. will they torture him like hell? i am extremely worried. and plus i am fiercely in love with him sooo my worried jus adds on. and he's always worried that i would walk back to my past.. "even i am so that desperate i won't, trust me. i don't want to see myself like that again.. i am happier and HAPPY now" 14 days without contacting............... is going to be hell.. but i wil jus occupy myslf withhhhhhh reading reading gaming.. maybe droppin by to the L.Y.N's home and see what are these pple up to.

so i feel like going swimming today.. but i am too lazy........lazy........lazy has polluted my bloodstream and body. but i won't be going out today becoz i jus downloaded my all time fav game. hehe. hehe. hehe. hehe hehe. heheheh.heeee MAYBE at night i will exercise my eyes out.. next two monday wat i know i will droppin by nuruul house to say hello and probably laze there.

dear now doin now area clean up and i feel so guilty and lazy jus lying down staring at my laptop while he's out there very hardworkin.. ok i neeeeeeeeed to not be lazy.......... maybe i am more than lazy i am so sadd that he's going away SOOOON. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i miss him like crazy.... like crazy i will be lookin forward to weds to meet him before the big trip starts.

"love is like a challenge... it test your patience, your mind and your soul. once you passed all three test, u will understand the true meaning of love"

mixed emotional. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR

2009-02-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

so.. today, i slept the whole day. i wake up had breakfast and den i read sheila o flannegal's book and den i fall asleep again. upon waking up i fried some stuffs for the family and basically updating my facebook after tat...

i really miss taufik alot.. knowing he won't be booking out on sat due to his life firing.. i hope he is doing fine.. now i bet he's still doing his march and he told me it would end abt 12am?? ok after this i am going to do jogging near the dam.. its been a long time since i excercise.

SO.. what happen on 31st... i finally become his girl... =) so how did he propose...

with 3 red roses and a ring.. he's like my knight i've been waiting my whole life.. and he's the 1st and only guy tat is so romantic and sweet... jus dun change dear...

anddddd THE NEXT day was his birthday! soo its like a combooo.. i gave him a jacket and i hope he likes it alotttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! and brunei brunei.. i hope it will end so fast for us dear.. a test that will test us like mad.. but i know we will manage to get it tru.

"i waited and waited and if i looked 5 years back.. it would be like a fantasy.. but now its a reality.. i love u syg"

Mood Swing

2009-01-29T01:24:00.000+08:00

dear blog of mine... wow its been so longg since i last updated a real story. because why? been comin back home late during these few nites.. and been spending time with my bro and his girl, Mr. Tee and my cuzzies..

well i jus came back from arab street shisha-ing.. and yea i miss mr tee alot.. really really alot and o yea he has completed his 16km march wowww!!!!!
which took so long from abt 2? till 11 plus late at nitE?.. i am really amazed by his strength and determination to complete it.. well yea i was quite worried that he forced himself and yea he didn't replied my msg since after 9? so i tot something might happen..... andddd it was quite a blow for me..

so im jus gonna upload a few pics and.. yea listen to a songg over and over until i fall asleep...

"somehow i have fallen in love all over again.. this feeling, which i felt 2 years ago, but its stronger. i get restless when ur silence..because of u, i have stop my bullshits.. because of u, i learn to become a better person.. because of u, i learn how to love properly.. and because of u, i know what is care, protection and love really means for good once again.."

doodles

2009-01-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

I AM FINAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY HOME. YES AND MY NEW Pink pink Pink PiNK SUPERIOUSLY pink room. yup been cleanin and cookiN and also im searchiin for a job 5 days a weeeek.. so yea tats abt it.....everyone is readjusting.

sat sat sat sat sat sat sat

=D

to whom it may concern u already ruin and destroy and walk off my life. so pls dun add on. becoz my patience is running short.

Birthday Gala;

2009-01-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

Okeeeyyy sooo I HAVEEE been skipping out my blog updates becawse I have been watching Korean dramas and Movies thanks To miss YaNuh BaNANuH. KWHERE DID I GO FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

mornin wake up abt 10 plusssssss...posh up myself and set all the way to far est to get my ear pierce. i know i have a total of 5 holes. excluding asshole tat hole nose hole ear hole ok? HAHAA but.. my palms were all sweaty and i was soooo shaky when she was all ready to pierce my right ear. OKKKKK i told her to stop.. and den i took a deep breathe a lil prayer and yeap! tat was it. the pain? i didn't expect it to to be as painful as it was.........

so after which i met chermaineand her bf and went off to almajlis and had sheesha and some food. thanks maine and drew.

ok.....so.. now.. i am actually feeling disappointed and sad till i can't sleep a wink. he supposed to come back at meet me by 1030. due to some some some stuffs he cant becoz of someone's order.

and thus..........i am innnnnnnn lots of pain now.

its been a long time since i miss someone so badly tat my heart ache since945?

upon receivin d news.. i ordered 30 satays and a plate of ayam penyet. my bro and his girl joined me... my bro ate 10 satays.. kak yana eat like 4 or 5 while i eat the rest of it. which is like 15 16 plus my ayam penyet. i eat alot wen i am sooo super upset and stress. i jus wanna ccccry.....

and upon reaching my lift lobby, puke half of my food........

i am jus sooo restless uneasy.. i didn't get to sleep a wink even tho i am soo super tired.......

i jus kept lookin at my hp...........................................................................

its been so long since i eat much food like tat... horror to the pple ard me... i was hUNGY. BUT. THE MAIN point is to swallow my sorrows.

i wishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it was jus a damn joke.

and i wake up angry and laughing .

the gift; BIG day

2009-01-13T11:15:00.000+08:00

i am not working anymore.. i do admit i miss my colleages.. so 1st thing 1st i gotta [pump] up d music. AND DEN.... clean up the whole house... i really need to clean it. TMR'S my big big big big big big big day.. ok when tmr mornin come i gotta meet maine becawwse someone wanna celebrate my burthday altogether. my birthday gift for myself, i am not sure. whether i wanna complete my piercing.. or.. i really am not sure. so late in the afternoon will be a celebration with my family.

ok... STOP.. rewind...
yesterday was hectic.. yep my FIRST bro wanted me to join some poly instead of private. the thing is that there will be no diff. i have no time to explain everything now. im trying to fix my sch life 1st but i must meet my bro up and tell him what i exactly want in life.

Been dreaming alot in my sleep. and I see alot of Him, i guess i miss him alot yea.. maybe a lil too much of missing him...?

on thursday, i cant wait to go Nubat and Anay's house too PARTTEEYYY. SAturday will confirm with kak huda again. i am not sure abt double dating.....

OK so here's the part. the gift?

avua

2 best day =)

2009-01-12T10:14:00.000+08:00

the best day ever.. the best day ever... Tee. fetched me and we went out together. after 5 years of nvr see each other yepp sooo longg right. secondary school daes................

so 1st we went to far east plaza. we talked alot... Tee. listened to my every every stories that could have ever happen to me between this years... and yea and i listened to Tee's all is unexpected. but the most unexpected thing. i cannot believe we are reunited again. ITS really shocking even i thought that this is jus a dream. well, Tee's didn't change any different but Tee says i look soo soo different hahahahaha..

then we walked alll the way to p.s and talk somemore. so many things to catch up with each other.. from life, to ghost to siblings to families, to food. to so so much more. Tee's sacarsm still can't beat my kak yana.. den we both dunno where to go..
so we wentto marina barrage as suggested by Tee. its our first time altogether... until we got lost and almost went into a construction place.. laughed like mad....!

Marina barrage is such a beautiful place. very relaxed and the beauty of city and lights can be seen. had problem with my slr. after a long long long talk in the night. i suggested i am hungry and told Tee lets munch some food at mac at west coast park...
eat some fries, more catching up to do...
den we ride home....

the next day wen i was working. tee knows its going to be my birthday. tee told me tee wanna see me during my lunch break. so.. yea tee was carrying this big big big big big plastic bag.. with something inside. den we had double cheeseburgers and laughing our ass off because i think i almost shouted and i scared an old uncle to death. Tee gave me the prezzie its so nice laaaa Tee...! is it 5 yrs of accumulated prezzie. ?! hahahhahahahhaa

i cn't tell u guys yet wat's inside the present. it will be a secrecy =)

tee=girl=boy=nice=sweet=fun=crazy. guess.

MY FUCKING BURTHDAY! FUC KIEW

2009-01-07T23:33:00.003+08:00

OK i am soooooooo happy I AM TURNING 19 I KNOW ALOT OF BLOODY VULGARITIES! BUT HELL YEA I AM TURNING 19 MORE PINK MORE FUCKIT FOR ME AND MORE PUNKROCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ok not really la more lady for me. HEH. cannot wait to buy abg epi jacket anddddddd letak bykkk somethin!

formybirthday i jus wannaaaaaa eat and take the gmax and shout the hell out bole?

can!? pls

today work

fun giler

and i laugh alot

tmr work

until14th!?

hahahahahahhaha 19 here i come!

new life new journey same me.

hahahahahaha

hahahaha

FUCKIEW.